Rocky and best left unmentioned

Posted on Fri Nov 27th, 2020 @ 1:09pm by Ensign Elegy Nascimento & Lieutenant Avira zh'Kenarh M.D.

Mission: Mission 3 - 100
Location: Deck D - Aft Observations Compartment
Timeline: Day 57, Month 2, Year 0 12:30
2093 words - 4.2 OF Standard Post Measure

Elegy had lost count and that had scared him. He feared for his own mental health. He could feel that sharp edge of fear down into his core, deep in his digestive tract.

The days without leaving his quarters had been first. In the early weeks of Atlantis' mission, Elegy had lost count of how many days he worked double-shifts in the science lab. Their diplomatic mission, reaching out to the Xindi, had felt so meaningful then; it had become all-consuming to him. Ensign Elegy Nascimento had felt a gnawing desire to know everything there was to know about he Xindi. (At least, everything Earth, the Vulcans, and even the Andorians had been willing to share with someone of his security clearance.) And then after Atlantis had lost its way, it didn't get much better. Without any conceivable way to return to Earth, Elegy had lost count of how many days he would spend in the science lab, or in his bunk, and nowhere else. He simply couldn't find the energy to do anything but research and sleep. The threat of death at the hands of the Vrav hadn't helped in that regard either.

Elegy knew it was worse when he lost count of how many times he had re-introduced himself to crewmembers he already knew. He didn't understand how it kept happening. He kept telling them who he was, as if they were new or they wouldn't remember. But it was like their faces refused to cement in his memory. That's when he knew there was a problem.

One baby-step solution, on this day, was curling himself up on a sofa in the observation room. This wasn't socializing exactly. Truly, his full attention was pouring into the sheet music on his PADD, aaaaaaaand he had switched off his cochlear implants, but he was out. He was out among the crew. He was anywhere but in his quarters or the science lab. Baby steps.

It had been made clear to Avira that the way she was dealing with the entire situation wasn't particularly healthy, she needed distractions, she needed to socialise more. Even when she was the one responsible for everyone's health and safety, she couldn't sacrifice her own sanity to safeguard that. She never thought she'd long for the days in the field with the Guard. Things were simpler then. One of your buddies got shot, you plug the hole. Now there was this whole aftercare programme that she also needed to do.

With a cup of tea in her hand she made her way across the room and saw Elegy laying on the sofa. He had seemed sociable when he had come in with his implants, perhaps he would be good company to let off some social steam. She sat down in the arm chair next to where Elegy was laying down. She took a slow sip from her tea, she had bartered some of her dried fruits for it with someone from Engineering. It tasted like exactly what she needed right now, "what are you working on?" She asked, Elegy seemed very focused and she spoke softly as to not startle him.

Oblivious to Aviva's arrival, Elegy swiped at the screen of the PADD he was cradling. Using the tip of his finger, he removed one of the notes from the sheet music on the display and he added a crescendo. Without his cochlear implants, he hadn't heard Aviva's words. Worse, Elegy's focus on hearing the music in his head had narrowed his field of vision to nothing but the musical notes on the PADD's display.

Avira frowned after getting absolutely no response from the man on the sofa, "Ensign?" She said softly again trying to catch his attention. She wondered if something she might've done to the cochlear implants might've caused a malfunction. She put her cup of tea aside and leaned closer, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Ensign?" She spoke a bit louder this time.

Startled by the unexpected touch, Elegy's first thought went back to the Vrav boarding Atlantis weeks ago. His body jolted and he recoiled from Avira's hand, sitting upright on the sofa. As soon as his face snapped in Avira's direction, his posture softened and he immediately smiled. "Oh!" he vocalized and a nervous laugh escaped him. "I'm sorry, Lieutenant," he said, as he reached a hand to each of his ears, manually resetting the cochlear implants. "I was listening to my music," Elegy explained and he showed Avira the sheet music on the face of his PADD.

Recoiling slightly herself Avira let out a bit of a laugh as she seemed to reset his implants, "I didn't know they could do that." When he showed her the sheet music it dawned on her that he probably wasn't really listening to music over the implants. "I didn't mean to startle you." After their last encounter she had taken a moment to learn a single expression in sign language, she motioned hello and asked how he was doing.

That fear of the Vrav had sent Elegy's heart rate spiking, but he managed to blink it away, slowly, as he convinced himself there was nothing to fear. He took a deep breath and he smiled with a warmth that reached his whole face when he saw the United Earth Sign Language Avira was communicating through hand gestures. He signed a hello back at her, and then he addressed her apology with spoken word. "It's my own fault. I was trying to be social, but all my hobbies are solo activities," Elegy said. His sheepish grimace matched his tone of voice.

"What would those hobbies be?" Avira asked, trying to look over at the PADD he held in his hands. It was good to see someone in good spirits, and Elegy seemed like the kind of person that would be able to infect the whole crew with a bit of optimism. She reached for her cup of tea and continued carefully sipping away at the hot drink.

"On a practical level, my hobbies remain undefined," Elegy admitted and he bit his lower lip because of how stupid that sounded. He took a breath and he said, "I went to school for music training, music theory. Being able to hear music has always been a small miracle to me. Lieutenant Davis suggested I start a band among the crew, but we haven't been able to track down enough instruments." --He showed the face of his PADD to Avira again, revealing the eight bars of music he had written-- "I thought I should practice composing my own music. See if if I can do it with nothing but my voice, some sheet music and my mind. I don't want to forget how, while we're..." He trailed off, because it hurt too much to talk about how utterly lost the crew was; viscerally separated from the worlds they called home. The nicest way he could think to speak of their circumstances was to say, "in transit."

"That's so impressive," Avira was envious of people with musical talent, she knew what music did to people, across species, there was something about melody that triggered emotions regardless of your cultural background, "Do you play any instrument?" She knew he wasn't planning on being social when he came here but she was just too interested in this to not ask questions.

Elegy sat up a little straighter, his legs folded under him. He took a deep breath, and he excitedly shared, "I dabbled with anything from a trumpet to maracas when I was in school, but I've only really messed around with a guitar, a keyboard, and a little ukulele while I've served Starfleet. It's truly making me itchy that I haven't been able to make my own music aboard Atlantis. I had to leave my piano with my husband on Jupiter Station, and Starfleet lost my guitar when I was transferred here from Valiant. I'd heard it landed aboard Columbia just before we lost our way." Nodding to Avira, as if to gesture to her with his chin, Elegy asked, "How about you? What has your relationship with music been like?"

"Rocky and best left unmentioned," Avira smiled back, "I tried to learn a couple, never really got the hang of any," she leaned back a bit in her seat trying to remember what the Earth name was, "I play something fairly similar to your ocarina." She mimicked playing a flute like instrument, "and a keyboard, that's like a piano, right?"

His enthusiasm viscerally building, Elegy nodded at Avira's question. He grinned at her as if he were a puppy in the sun. "Yeah --exactly-- a keyboard is like an electronic synthesis of a piano," Elegy replied. He brow furrowed momentarily; something Avira said had unlocked a memory. "Y'know, I think I spent a year, in university, learning how to play an ocarina. Duncan McManus has promised to make me an instrument. If you think about it: Earthers figured how to make ocarinas in ancient times. We live on a starship. If Starfleet engineers can create a new way to fly at warp five, they can surely build us a couple of clay ocarinas, no?"

Avira loved the man's enthusiasm and felt it spark something inside of her as well, "I... uh... I don't see why not." She didn't really care that it could be seen as wasteful to their available resources, any random asteroid they came across could be used to convert rock and dirt from, "I wonder if the specs of such things would be in the database." They had been relying on some connection with the United Earth communications arrays to get the more obscure information that nobody needed readily available. Luckily the entire medical database from the newly minted Federation species was available to her, otherwise her job would've become impossible without the experience of her previous chief.

"I've got faith to believe," Elegy said in assurance, "I'll be able to find something in the cultural databanks. We brought a wide breadth of esoteric knowledge with us, the better to study and exchange with Xindi culture." --Elegy shrugged and he cleared his throat-- "Before everything else happened," he said dryly. His PADD forgotten, Elegy was fully sitting upright on the sofa and he was speaking with his hands at the same time that he spoke. "If not, I imagine Duncan can reverse engineer ocarinas." --He hesitated, afraid he had overstepped, but only momentarily-- "If you'd be willing to take it for a test drive. See if it sounds like you remember?"

"I feel like I really have to warn you that I'm not very good," Avira emphasised once more her lack of any sort of musical talent, "but if you're patient with me, perhaps we can get something going." There was a modest smile at the idea of trying again in regards to her musical desires, and even if they abandoned it after a couple of weeks or months, it would've been something they tried. Something to take their minds off things.

"Honestly," Elegy said, sounding all too pleased, "I'd prefer that more than if you said you were a professional musician." He winked at her. "That means you won't play better than me."

"Well, we don't know that, I could be a prodigy," Avira smiled and leaned back in the chair a bit, wondering how much she would actually be able to learn and how good the two of them could get, "or you could be absolutely terrible." she added in jest. She noticed that she had already finished her tea, there was a human expression about the aviation of time in such a situation that eluded her at the moment, "I should get back to sickbay."

Sitting up a little straighter, Elegy supposed he could use another nap before his own shift would start, later that evening. He put his PADD to sleep and he rose from the sofa to join Avira in the short walk to the hatch. "Don't let Starfleet waste too much of your time on saving lives and junk," Elegy said, continuing the sardonic tone their conversation had taken. Indicating Avira with a gesture, he said, "Musical prodigies need time to hone their craft, and need a platform from which to be be heard by their audiences."