Lifedeath

Posted on Thu Oct 14th, 2021 @ 3:47am by Ensign Alexandra 'Lexi' O'Connery & Crewman Finn Jones & Ensign Elegy Nascimento

Mission: Mission 4 - Eden
Location: Deck E - Hydroponics Bay
Timeline: MD 166 - 1300 hours
2888 words - 5.8 OF Standard Post Measure

Elegy blinked. Another heartbeat later his surroundings came into focus. Elegy Nascimento had been so lost in thought, the starship around him had fallen away from his senses. Despite recent events on the Caelestis, Elegy's thoughts hadn't even been particularly deep. He had been thinking about what to eat for lunch in the mess hall. Blinking again, Elegy came to realize he wasn't in the mess hall. Nor had he returned to the science lab. The greenery all around him suggested he had walked to the hydroponics bay on autopilot. Only, Elegy couldn't remember if he had already been to the mess hall and eaten, or if he still needed to go. He supposed he didn't feel particularly hungry. That might be a clue.

How had she not seen him in the hydroponics bay before when she hung out there watering or gardening so often? Lexi stepped into the familiar space taking in deep breaths of the homey smell that just reminded her of gone despite how bad and and rocky it had been. She had started to go to the hydroponics bay to do something useful but it had developed into a friendship with Finn Jones the last hydroponics crewman. The man had needed someone to keep him going after losing his roommates and all his fellow hydroponics operators and Lexi could do that easily. “You hiding, stealing or gardening?” She called by way of greeting.

"I don't, uh, remember...?" Elegy said, somewhat vaguely. He continued to stare into the middle distance, offering Lexi not even a glance. He made no effort to hide his disorientation, his vulnerability. Since the first day Elegy had met her, Lexi's manner could disarm him easily. "I was going to eat something," Elegy remarked. He squinted and he shook his head. "Or I ate something already," Elegy said, "so I needed a walk."

Lexi watched the confusion with growing concern but it stayed off her face. She had prepared herself for the compartment with her uniform on but the top part was tied around her waist due to the humidity but the fact her hair was already sticking to her told her she had made the right call. “Shall we take a walk around here? We can practically travel the universe in a few minutes around this compartment with all the different plants. You can do that report about the bay whilst Finn is not around.” She offered holding out her hand to the man.

Taking a conspicuous breath, Elegy used those moments to compose his thoughts. "Yes. ...Yes, of course," Elegy said in his formal timbre. He nodded at a sleek piece of technology that looked as if it's grandparents had been transparent refrigerators. Quickly finding his bearings, Elegy remarked, "I should see how the new stasis unit is doing. We brought it over from the Caelestis. Engineering expected to be able to connect it to our EPS." In the last moment before Elegy started to look for where the engineering team had moved it, he took Lexi's hand in his own.

Lexi squeezed the older man’s hand tightly. It was just for a split second but she hoped it was enough to hopefully bring him back to the here and now and to focus on what they were going to do. “Come on then let’s go show me the statis unit and anything else from your ill gotten gains.” She teased him hoping it would draw out his more easy go nature or at least turn the frown upside down. The Hydroponics Bay was still growing it’s first harvest but the work that she knew Finn Jones was putting in it would be amazing to see, he would be a hero skiing the crew. “Did you know Finn has been sleeping down here?”

Pausing to consider the question, Elegy cocked his head to one side. Through a thoughtful frown, Elegy said, "No, I did not." His vowels came out elongated, as he replayed all of his interactions with Finn through the movie theatre in his mind. "I... should have known that," Elegy said, sounding annoyed with himself. "As the Science Chief, and working the overnight shift before that... I should have known that." Elegy half-chuckled and he looked at Lexi, when he added, "Mind you, he did look awfully comfortable when we slept here on Christmas Eve."

“You have been science chief less than a week,” Lexi said with a snort. He could not be annoyed at himself for something like that. There had been someone else in charge. “He has set the little office up back there since he lost his roommates.” She admitted sadly squeezing his arm a little. “I think as he was assigned by Lieutenant Sovar he took it on very seriously as it was live or die.”

"That's no way to live," Elegy said, shaking his head. His words struck an emphasis that belied meaning beyond where Finn was choosing to lay his head. Forgetting about the stasis unit, Elegy turned on his heel slowly. He turned towards the bay's office, nodding to Lexi that they would walk that way. "We're all alone out here," Elegy said, affirming similar thoughts he'd shared before. "Our duty can't be our everything. It can only serve to isolate us more."

"I have been trying to get him out of his own head," Lexi said with a sad smile as she let go of his arm and moved down the rack of food that was growing. It would be so good when they had some edible from it all again. Harvest was going to be something they all looked forward to she was sure. "I do not think duty is all we have Ele. I've not isolated from anyone or let anyone do it." Finn most likely thought of her as a pest but she had stuck to him like glue in an attempt to keep him there.

"You're right, Lexi," Elegy said, nodding at her as he spoke. There had been a sharp-edged yearning to his manner before, and now her words had sobered him. He looked at Lexi, looked right at her, when he said, "You reach out for connections. I don't worry about you the way I worry about Finn."

“Course I did how else will I talk and learn languages?” She wondered innocently as she arrived at the small office at the back of the hydroponics bay. It was easily missed if you did not know it was there and without a science officer specifically for hydroponics Finn had made it his own.

The office was even smaller than Finn's small, shared quarters. Elegy looked around at the makeshift comforts, and he shook his head through a wince. "He's in Starfleet, the same as the rest of us. He doesn't have to live this way," Elegy said, somewhat indignant on behalf of Finn -- even though this was entirely self-inflicted by Finn. "What can I do to help?" Elegy asked, neatly shifting the focus away from his own fugue state, "to get him out of his head, out of his shell?"

"No, but he is," Lexi commented. It might be small but the man had made it his own with a cot bed and photos stuck to the wall of what she presumed was the aunt who brought him up. "Not sure I have just been coming down to hang out and force conversation on him. I water the plants or deadhead them if he is working. He talks and responds." She was not the best person to ask really. She forced him to interact with her but he had never come willingly to come to talk to her.

Shaking his head, Elegy said again, "I worry about Finn, is all. It's really good of you to check up on him." Elegy just stood there for a couple of heartbeats, staring at the deckplates. His posture shifted, slightly, making him look very small. "We're all of us alone out here," Elegy said starkly. "...Until we're not."

Lexi nodded. She was worried too but now someone else was on her side she hoped they could tackle the issue that was Finn together. It could not be that hard right?

“Elegy we are alone but we are alone together. I would take that over until we are not at the moment. The last time we were not alone was the Vrav and I nearly lost my life.” She reminded squeezing his arm before she moved to where a water fountain was. She poured two cups of water passing one back to him thinking he might need the water more than her.

Murmuring a, "thank you," Elegy accepted the cup between both of his hands. He took a sip of water and then he lowered the cup, looking down at its contents. "The first time the Vrav boarded Atlantis, I thought I was going to die," Elegy said soberly. "Like Aurelius. I thought I was going to die. I... I... hid in the service tubes. I think I said I was going to secure the computer core. But I was hiding." --Elegy chuckled mirthlessly-- "I've never told that to anybody."

“So what is making you tell me?” She wondered softly. She did not think any less of him for admitting that. If anything she thought more of him for sharing that he had felt that scared and unsure when the shit had hit the fan. If she had not been shot in the first seconds she had no idea what she would have done. She had been lucky to not die on the floor of deck D.

At first, Elegy only shrugged at Lexi as if to say, your guess is as good as mine. Sometimes Elegy understood his own thoughts even less than a casual observer might understand his inner-workings. He sipped at the water again and he found the words to say, "It hurt too much to keep the secret. I had come up with an elaborate story I was going to tell when I got patched up in Sickbay. I repeated it in my head so many times, I started to believe it. ...And then the nurse never even really asked me what happened." Elegy snorted out a low, short chuckle at that and then he met Lexi's eyes. "Besides, you and me," he said in a matter of fact timbre, "We don't have secrets."

The woman could understand the need to speak someone's own truth to get it off their chest. It was much needed sometimes, it soothed the soul. "Well, we do at points." She said rubbing her neck, he had, had his secrete and she had William as a secrete. It was not something that would shatter the universe but it was something between them. Something that Lexi had not spilt her guts about.

Although Elegy's first instinct was curiosity about whatever secrets Lexi was referencing, his second instinct was a flush of embarrassment, in wondering if he had overshared with her. He downed the rest of his water and abruptly changed the topic back to what they had been discussing before. "We're going to need some kind of funeral for Aurelius," Elegy said, resolving himself to accept that tragedy as fact. Briefly snorting at the absurdity of his suggestion, he said, "Maybe we should assign Finn to organize it. Force him to get out and meet people to make all the arrangements..."

Lexi had not thought on that prospect they they were going to need to hold a funeral. It had not been something that had really done up until now but the morgue was getting pretty full. Lexi shook her head. “Not a good idea. If they were close or friends it would be nice but feels awkward to do if not..” Lexi said softly.

Nodding at what Lexi had said, Elegy considered her words, as they certainly had the ring of truth to them. Of course, pushing Finn outside his comfort zone was also the point. After discarding his cup, Elegy returned on the hunt for the new stasis unit. "I suppose the Captain will think of something," Elegy replied.

“Perhaps. I am not overly sure where Davis and the Captain stood when he was murdered.” Lexi knew that some people did not mourn or do funerals but her words also hinted at some gossip. She shrugged watching him come back trying to think of something positive to say.

In a conspiratorial manner, Elegy raised an eyebrow, and he spoke out of the side of his mouth, when he responded with a question. "What does that mean?" Elegy asked, genuinely befuddled by what Lexi might be implying. Innocently, he framed his question by asking, "Wouldn't the Captain love all of her crew equally?"

"You were on the Valiant. She and Davies had a thing and then here when Leroux became Captain it fizzled or something. I only know from Jenkins who heard the conversation through the wall." Lexi said surprised he did not know with his gossiping. She had not even mentioned it before but it was hard no to when there was not much else to talk about.

"Oh my god; Davies and the Captain?" Elegy asked back. For all his incredulity, he kept his voice at a hissed whisper, in case Finn had shuffled in without them noticing. His eyes wide, he shook his head as he tried to even imagine the two of them together. "I really did miss everything, working the night shift for so long. Our biggest intrigue was trying to discover who kept jamming a decaf data card in the drink synthesizer."

"Davies and the Communication Chief." Lexi told him reminding him that before this all started Leroux had been the communication chief of the Atlantis and before that the Valiant.

"Who would decaf a starship. Sounds like a man situation. It's not this ship is it?" A voice called and the man they had been coming to check on stood between two towers of beans with a mug of coffee. Finn Jones was lanky but even the bean pole outflanked him.

Turning to the sound of Finn's voice, Elegy affected faux-distress when he replied, "Can you believe such a thing could happen on the Atlantis? A decaf card we couldn't override." Elegy pivoted on his heel the same way he pivoted the conversation away from Leroux and dearly-departed Davis. Despite the facetious severity of his words, Elegy grinned at Finn. "At the time," Elegy admitted, "I led the graveyard shift to petition for a war crimes tribunal to be held by the armoury."

"No, I am pretty sure that the Captain would never allow it. She likes coffee more than anyone else. I worry about her heart some days." Lexi commented as Finn came closer. He looked unsaved but she had noticed that a few men would struggling with shaving at the moment, which would be something that needed to be mentioned to the Captain or Executive Officer.

"Can I help you both?" He wondered confused about why they were there.

Smiling fondly at Finn's eagerness to help, Elegy shrugged lightly. He couldn't be sure how much of their conversation Finn had heard before he announced himself, but he supposed the easiest way to lie or deflect was to use the truth. "I was curious about how the new seed bank is doing," Elegy replied. "After the loss we've suffered, I needed to be surrounded by green. By new life." --Tilting his head at her, Elegy teased-- "Lexi is policing me, to make sure my kleptomania doesn't carry over to Atlantis."

Lexi smiled up at the man and shook her head. “Like I could ever police you Ensign.” She teased back a little as Finn looked at them both.

“Seems to be going well Sir. McManus and Aalox installed it with no issues.” It seemed like it would be simple but the technology was so different.

Nodding eagerly, Elegy affirmed, "And that's only step one. We're going to have to be careful with how we study and experiment on the alien flora we've brought over. Can't risk it causing harm to the rest of our stock." Angling his gaze towards Finn, Elegy asked, "Can you compare our Starfleet protocols against similar rules being used by the Vulans, Andorians, and Tellarites? We may want to take stronger measures... given the lack any United Earth cargo ships within a decade of us."

“Yes Sir.” Finn nodded quickly making a note on his PADD to remind him of it later on that evening or tomorrow. “I have considered keeping it in a different section but I will research those areas.” He assured.

“I should not keep you from things any longer.” Lexi announced thinking it a perfect time to ditch and get back to other duties. “You have everything you need for your report now Ensign?”

"Yes, Ensign," Elegy replied in kind. He nodded emphatically and he looked Lexi in the yes. He considered the stasis unit briefly, but his gaze quickly wandered to serious Finn. "I have everything I need. Thank you."