New responsibilities, old insecurities

Posted on Fri Feb 18th, 2022 @ 2:38pm by Lieutenant Avira zh'Kenarh M.D. & Ensign Megan MacDonald
Edited on on Fri Feb 18th, 2022 @ 7:04pm

Mission: Mission 5 - Babel
Location: Communications Center
Timeline: Day 275
Tags: Communications
1147 words - 2.3 OF Standard Post Measure

“She’s coming out of it,” a voice bled through the dark mists of Megan’s mind, pulling her from the mists of her own memories. She had been in her home, talking to her mother about all the reasons she didn’t belong in their small town, all the reasons that she had to make her own way in the world. Her slim, red haired Irish mother had transformed into a silver dragon and bellowed her disapproval.

That is when Megan realized she was in a dream that she could not get out of - until the voice told her to break through, that her vitals were stable and there was no reason to be wasting a perfectly good bed on someone who could be helping the crew.

Doctor zh’Kenarh gave her a hard look as Megan woke up, and after a brief time in Sickbay where she got the general idea of words like coma and short staffed crew, Megan was released into the night shift until she got her bearings and could take on more responsibility.

((Time skip, three weeks later))

The quiet of the night shift always soothed Megan’s turbulent thoughts. There wasn’t much to do besides monitor the normal communications between ships, but during this last mission, all she could do was try to get a signal down to the planet where so many of the crew were trapped. Now that they were on their way back, and the ship would be heading back to Earth, she had time to go over some linguistic texts she’d been studying.

A message came over her terminal, appearing to be a new duty rotation schedule. This was a bit unusual, as Ensign O’Connery had long had the day shift, Megan preferring to work the off hours so that she could be mostly undisturbed in her studies. The message was brief and to the point. Ensign O’Connery had been injured down on the planet, and was going to be in Sickbay to recover. That meant Megan was pushed up to the day shift, and one of the other ensigns would cover her hours until further notice. Megan sighed. She’d have to actually interact with people on a more frequent basis.

She finished the letter she was writing to her mother, asking her to understand why she’d run away instead of telling her about joining StarFleet. She read it through again and sent it to her personal folder. At some point, she’d be brave enough to send it. But not now.

The door opened, and Megan idly glanced up to see Dr. zh’Kenarh enter to check up on her, something about how her socialization skills remained under optimal levels. She put on a fake smile and addressed the doctor.
“Good evening, Doctor. What brings you to my little corner of the ship?”

"Just a routine check up. You went through a lot and I was wondering how you were settling back into day to day operations." Avira wasn't well versed in the mental aspect of health care, but it was still part of her role as Chief Medical. At a basic level, though, she knew not to bluntly ask someone why they were hiding in a dark corner ever since awaking from a coma 3 weeks earlier.

"I think I'm settling in just fine. I've managed to find my way around the ship without getting lost - mostly." Megan didn't know why she was almost hostile to the doctor, she just didn't feel like opening up with a total stranger. "I'm getting my work done. I just haven't found a reason to socialize."

Megan realized how foolish that sentiment would sound coming from a Communications ensign. She tried explaining again.

"I know that I want to be here, but I guess I feel a bit guilty about leaving my mother behind. We're all we have as far as family, really. I just couldn't stay there any longer. I was feeling trapped."

Avira nodded along with the explanation, it was eerily reminiscent of her own story back when she joined the Andorian Imperial Guard. "You know, it might help to know that there's others on the ship with similar experiences." She put her hands behind her back and concentrated on her hands to not have her antennae twitch and give more away than she was comfortable with. "If you get out there and mingle it might help alleviate some of the guilt you're feeling." She knew from experience that time spent with others on the ship, hearing about their lives, had made her feel a lot more normal, understood and accepted.

Megan rolled her eyes at the doctor's response. "Fine, maybe I'll try harder to fit in. I guess I'll need to seeing how I'm now on the day shift."

"I didn't say anything about fitting in," Avira's antennae did twitch this time, she wondered where the negative connotations had come from, but it was clear that it was something internal for this Ensign. "Just, meet some people, see what they're like."

Megan didn't like where this was heading. Sure, she wanted to be a productive member of the crew, but she wasn't sure that she had much in common with the others. Then she sighed, knowing that the reason for that was that she hadn't given anyone a chance to get to know her at all.

"You're right, I'll start getting to know people more. I'm not doing myself any favors trying to handle my emotions about my mom on my own." She smiled. "Thank you for stopping by."

The Andorian did not look as though they were leaving any time soon. Megan frowned slightly. Was there more to this visit? She was in adequate health, and she was going to make an effort to become more integrated with the crew. Before her coma, she'd been friendly, but reserved, as was the way of her clan, but she could see now that a crew was not a town, but rather, a family of sorts. She smiled openly this time.

"Was there anything else, Doctor?"

It was clear that Megan wanted to be left alone, Avira wasn't great with small talk and bedside manner herself either. "You've been out of consciousness for a long time, you're only back among the people for a few weeks. I just wanted to make sure you were still fit." She put her hands behind her back. "Mental health is also important, and humans are social creatures, however much you like to deny it sometimes." She shrugged a bit at that before turning on her heels and heading towards the exit.

Right before reaching for the button to open the doors she turned, "I expect you to come by the medical bay before the end of the week for a more thorough medical scan."