All the King's Horses

Posted on Wed Sep 7th, 2022 @ 6:34am by Ensign Isaac 'Zac' Hughes & Commander Benjamin Jamesson

Mission: Mission 6 - Memory
Location: Sickbay
Timeline: 304 0400 hours
2669 words - 5.3 OF Standard Post Measure

Isaac hadn't really figured out a place to be yet.

It was, of course, entirely understandable. Unlike Manishie, who was dealing with the repercussions of sharing an identity with another person, and Ben, who was left to valiantly struggle against the vacuum pulling him towards a hole of his almost-exact proportions, Isaac was...nobody. Unfamiliar, unassigned, unproven. Taking the red-eye shift in Sickbay was an interim arrangement, rendered entirely appropriate by the sheer number of casualties they'd processed in the past twelve hours, but the future loomed with its arm extended, accusatory demands obliterating any metaphorical stone that Hughes might have attempted to hide behind. Who are you? was a loaded question, but even it paled in comparison to What is your purpose here?

So far, his only response was to make himself useful.

And so, he was doing paperwork. An entire inter-dimensional shift later and he was still drowning in the stuff, which technically wasn't his problem anymore but he felt some sort of sympathetic duty to lighten the load given his universe's role in creating most of it. Of those brought in after Smith's final assault, only a handful remained since it had been a far more practical arrangement to release them to quarters and simply monitor them over the next 48 hours through a rotation of visits and well-dispersed tattle-tales. In a section cordoned off, his three sleepers remained unchanged, their physiological reaction to the creature's attacks creating a neural conundrum neither he nor Avira had puzzled out a viable treatment for yet. They clearly weren't dead since they retained some capacity to maintain bodily functions with minimal life support intervention, but their brain activity was...

...off.

There was paperwork to complete about that too. One thing at a time.

Benjamin came into sick bay and stopped dead as he saw the one person he had not really expected to see. Anyone else he would have just been able to request something and get out of there but Hughes knew him and knew what was troubling him so it would not be so easy. He had really tried to sleep, he had gone to the gym and hurt from the sheer amount of work he had put in to trying to calm himself down but it was no good. "How are things?" He said by way of greeting.

Ironically, Isaac's first reaction was a similar sense of chagrin. Despite the changes in circumstance, Jamesson was his superior officer and Zac found his presence immediately familiar as a caregiver rather than a seeker of assistance. It wasn't a stretch to think that the Commander was keeping abreast of what remained of his crew, three of whom were currently beyond medical intervention despite being stable. "They've slowed down a little," he replied, glancing over his shoulder into the room. "Many of the affected were released to quarters for remote observation to try and free up facilities here."

The large man took the run down of what was happening as a default of their command structure. It was good to hear that people were recovering and they had done well by this crew and reflected on the errors that had happened in their universe to make sure it was not repeated. "I did think it was a little quiet even at this time of day," Ben said rubbing his stubble. It was starting to irritate him but he was refusing to do anything about it until he had, had proper sleep.

The doctor managed a wane smile. "The slowest it's been for a while," he acknowledged quietly, a hand reaching up to massage the back of his neck. Of course, this wasn't his Sickbay, full of the recently deceased, those they'd had no time to even secure more respectfully before attempting to save the scant handful that remained. Isaac had been trying not to think about that, had tried to push aside futile wondering about the state of their ship's wreckage and whether or not there'd be enough left behind for families to seek some closure. His own would be left without clear answers otherwise. Of course, the more he tried not to think about it, the more he invariably sank into the pointless agonising over details he could no longer control or even affect. Isaac suspected he looked about as haggard as Ben did.

"Did you need anything?" There seemed no way to broach the conversations that existed in their silences. All the time in the pod, where Ben had been lost in his own fog and had only been present in a purely automated command capacity had not chipped away at the distance forming. Isaac was glad that Manishie had reached out, that she'd confided in him and could see the benefit of their established trust. Now he just needed Ben to do the same.

Slow was not a bad thing after the last few weeks that they had experienced. Hopefully it would continue for a few weeks longer. “Yeah I have still not slept.” The man admitted rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. There was no way to beat around the bush about it now that he was stood there.

For a moment, Isaac's thoughts turned towards the current occupant of his quarters, sprawled across the bed like she owned it, and smiled faintly. He'd come back to Sickbay to give Manishie some space, and was fresh out of tea and mattress-space to offer his other friend. "I think we're all battling that a little." Zac studied the other man's face for a moment before asking, "Have you had any sleep since we got here?"

“Not that I can tell unless I have drifted off for a moment or two.” The man finally admitted as he just stared at Isaac for a long moment. It was the lesser of two evils, another sleepless night or just admitting and getting some help.

Isaac nodded slowly, not for the first time trying to puzzle out an inroads into his commanding officer's thoughts through the stoic stubbornness in the man's eyes. "There's been a lot going on," the doctor empathised, rising from his chair finally and gesturing towards one of the examination cubicles. "It's probably time we check your levels again and then I'll see what they have available that I can give you."

The man nodded at the examination cubicle despite everything telling him to just leave and handle it the way he handled everything else - alone. He was not one to let his guard down even with his closest confidence but even he knew that Beth could and would order him there if he did not go voluntarily. “Has for everyone.” Benjamin said as he turned and walked toward the chair and sat down without another word.

For a moment, the examination continued silently. Though Isaac had a professional perspective on seeking emotional support, it didn't always align with his own personal preferences and he could hardly begrudge Ben the exact same conditions Hughes usually tried to seek for himself. Solitude to process, privacy to grieve. There was too much respect between the pair for Isaac to push, but it was that exact same respect that urged him to find some sort of compromise. He'd been there when Ben had found his girlfriend, had felt the waves of raw, savage fury and anguish turn the already-stoic man to stone. Having intruded even slightly on that moment, Isaac felt beholden to acknowledge it somehow.

He glanced up from his readings.

"Ben, I..." The familiarity of friendship was a risk, the Commander had sought refuge in his pips after all. He hesitated and chose a tact that seemed the least intrusive. "Look, this isn't a situation we're going to find a lot of advice on, they don't typically cover temporal displacement in any psych course I've ever done. The important thing right now is how we deal with the initial healing. When I was working on Callie earlier, I realised I..." He glanced back down at the man's bioscan, allowing a measure of privacy at least in not witnessing the pain the woman's name likely evoked. "...I'm not sure how much she knows or how much you want her to know. The last thing I want to do is stick my foot in my mouth."

He thought he would have a bit more time to prepare himself for that question but it needed answering. He appreciated not having to gaze at the man but it still hurt to know what could have been. “She knows nothing and will not learn anything from us.” Benjamin said quickly without even a hint of hesitation. He was not going to change the woman’s path at all. He did not want her path changed because of his re appearance in her life.

Isaac wasn't surprised. The staunch, self-sacrificing route was exactly Jamesson's style. So much so that any attempt at reasoning for his own well-being in all of this was likely to fall on deaf ears. The doctor nodded once in acquiesce but quietly added, "It may be worse if she finds out later. Secrets have a way of festering." It wasn't a lecture though and he'd respect his senior officer's wishes.

“And how best do I approach it in the world you imagine existing where not all of this would not change her whole world with me saying I was in a relationship with her doubleganger?” The large man asked in a low tone. “I won’t wreck anything she has here with my selfishness.”

"There's no proof she would," Isaac reasoned gently, and then sighed, dropping the tricorder to stare off to the side. He had no angle to push here, only what he hoped was an objective viewpoint. "Nobody came to see her when she was in Sickbay," he changed direction softly. "Except Lexi, which was to be expected, and given the amount of times we had to kick her out of Gerhard's bed, I think she's spoken for elsewhere. I don't have a firm opinion either way," the doctor held his hands up. "I just think, if there's as much similarity as there seems to be between her two versions.... Well, firstly, she's going to figure it out anyway." Fondness peppered Hughes' expression with pragmatism. "Least I never figured out how to bluff her."

“O’Connery.” Benjamin said in a tone that just summed up Lexi with a shrug. “Does not mean I can just come blundering and change everything for her or anyone else here.” Ben was getting to the fact he was going to be alone for a very long time and that he needed to find some piece with that.

"I don't think it's about changing anything. I think it's about being open and honest with the people we're going to presumably spend a good while with. And about not isolating yourself." This time, Isaac directed a pointed look at the other man. "Remember when you started dating her and everyone was like, whoa, Jamesson actually laughs now?" Hughes offered a sympathetic smile and then hesitated, at least able to understand the other man's point of view. "I guess I've just not met a better person for getting you to talk. And you do need to, at some point." Isaac's brow furrowed. "I'm...sorry we weren't able to do more for her."

“There will be expectations and I have none here. I cannot just pick up where my old life got tossed aside. Please stop, Isaac. I know you are sorry. You have said is so many times I wonder if it’s a recording. It was too late. Everything was too late.” Benjamin muttered trying to keep his voice level and light. He did not want it all to burst out of him because he was sure once it was out there would be no putting anything back in.

Hughes, in his usual professional capacity to provoke and then sit back, did just as he was asked and stopped. It wasn't much but at least he had some idea of where Ben's head sat, which was a starting point. Only time would reveal where the cracks were going to form. "I can give you something to relax you, which ought to be enough to help you sleep," he quietly returned to the original topic. "It's important not to overuse it though, these kind of sedatives are easy to become too reliant on. I'll prepare enough for the next few nights but if things don't improve on their own after that, we may have to look into alternatives."

“I will remember that.” Benjamin said quietly already promising himself that he would only be using it one night just to get as one sleep and allow his brain to relax and rest. “And stop fretting about me getting addicted or something. I just need to relax one night to rest.” He said trying his accent thick from exhaustion.

It was, of course, exactly how most addictions started. A driving desperation, a resolution that seemed elusive without the substance's assistance... Isaac held his tongue on the matter but remained committed to watching the situation closely. Moving to being preparing the temporary dosage, the doctor instead chose to change the conversation's direction once more. "Is there any word yet on what they intend to do with us?" Of the three conscious survivors, Isaac's future contribution was a lot easier to predict. He was more concerned for Manishie, who already felt like a third wheel in her own life, and Ben, who would likely need to feel useful and productive to move forward.

“I do not believe Leroux has any intention to do anything to us.” Benjamin said relieved to find that the conversation was now on something other than him. “But I believe you are sorted your skills are valuable. Myself I am not sure and Manishie that would be down to her to figure out. We are getting space to go through our options.” He would be doing the same but he also knew he needed to find something to out his heart and soul into soon to try and attempt some healing.

"Having valuable skills is not the same as fitting into a crew's dynamics," Isaac pointed out. "Let alone the command structure here. Are we officially recognised officers still?" Leave it to Hughes to bring forward the gravitas of reason and practicality. "Or are we being considered useful passengers?"

“I’m gathering so seeing as I’ve seen practically all the senior's officers call you Ensign and me Commander,” Benjamin replied without missing a beat at the practical nature of it all.

"That may be a mark of respect. I'm more interested in whether the Captain intends to honor our service history, commissions and ranks. She is," Isaac reasoned, "Starfleet's only authority on the matter out this far." It didn't matter to Hughes, who regarded himself as a doctor with the necessary pips to do his job. His concern was more for Manishie, whose enlisted status was potentially a little more capricious.

"I have heard nothing but I am sure it will be honours. It is not Beth's style. We are all Earth Starfleet Officers. It would be like a transfer." Benjamin had no doubt that they were now Leroux's crew just like they had been Morgan's before. Just needed everyone else to accept it and process it. Maybe he was being more relaxed as he was just tired to care or he knew these people despite the subtle changes.

Isaac nodded, accepting the response as something he could pass on as assurance. Handing over what he'd prepared, the doctor's grasp lingered briefly as he pressed the medication parcel into Ben's hand. "Three nights worth. Then come see me if nothing's improved."

Benjamin moved from the biobed and stood up. "Three nights," He repeated back. Three nights was all he needed, he was sure.

 

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