Running

Posted on Mon Aug 12th, 2024 @ 2:40pm by Ensign Mercy Mourne & Lieutenant Darru

Mission: Remnant
Location: Upper observation deck
Timeline: Day 407- evening
3775 words - 7.6 OF Standard Post Measure

Darru had taken the wrong route around the ship an action atypical of his usual precision, he determined as he entered the dimly lit mess hall to replenish his water bottle.. It was late but he was not able to sleep despite his best efforts of meditation and watching a human film. He had anticipated that such activities might induce tranquility, but thus far, they had proven ineffectual, leaving him perturbed, an unusual state for him. He found himself experiencing emotions that he was certain he no longer warranted, yet they persisted, breaching his carefully constructed mental fortifications.

Mercy looked up as the figure she had been mulling over entered the mess. She had been nursing the last few drops of tea, so ferrying the cup over to the reclamation, she then gave him a small wave and a shy smile.

“Good evening Lieutenant Darru.” She was out of her uniform, in her off duty clothes which consisted of leggings, her uniform undershirt and a baggy cardigan that swamped even her larger frame. The overall look was of something cosy, and relaxed.

“You off duty as well?” She asked, making idle conversation with a little more ease now some of the awkwardness had been set aside between them.

“En..Mercy.” He ventures into saying her name as she had requested from him. He glanced at her clothes and then his own sports clothes. “I believe that with the location found it would be logical for us to permit ourselves a little more of one off duty.”

Mercy positively beamed when he used her name. She ran a hand through her hair and then glanced over to the door. “Couldn’t agree more, although I don’t know about you, but I find myself unable to relax. It’s been a while since I have let myself stop working since finding somewhere was so crucial, that it’s as if my brain has yet to catch up to the fact. Don’t suppose I could persuade you to join me for a walk up to the upper Observation Deck?”

She was still hyper aware of what her hands were doing so when she caught herself fiddling with a thread on her cardigan, she quickly tucked them behind her back. “Might help to work off some energy and it should be quiet at this point in the shift rotation.”

"I was already running so a walk might be a nice pace to allow my brain to catch up much like yours" He said indicating his water bottle and the fact he needed to fill that up first before he continued. He had grown accustomed onboard to drink water while exercising as it eliminated using more resources later on. He nodded and moved to the machine adding extra ice to cool him down more.

“Oh yes of course. Sorry I’m blocking the way.” Mercy took a step back from the water dispenser, feeling a little flustered. She took a steadying breath, willing the blood away from her cheeks and then gestured to the door once Darru had filled his bottle. “Lovely, shall we? While we talk you can settle a little rumour I heard about you.” Mercy grinned at him, deliberately wording it in a way that would sound salacious only to tease.

He did not comment on her blocking his path but offered a nod when she concede that she was. The man quickly set about getting his water, downing some before filling it up again before he followed. “A rumour?” He wondered with a raised eyebrow as they walked.

Mercy set a steady pace, which would seem practically languid after a run. Occasionally they would pass a colleague in the corridors and Mercy notably greeted everyone with a smile and a nod, always the first to step to the side to let another pass. “Well, I heard you were working on a personal project, although, I was a little surprised about the rumoured subject matter, so I thought I would just ask.” She shot Darru a shy, knowing smile. “Since assumptions seem to get me in more trouble than questions. Is it true you are running some sort of match making simulation?”

Darru did not understand what the shy smile was about until the moment when she mentioned a match making simulation. He blinked and nodded. “Though it was not a matching making simulation. I was looking at genetics and advising on the best connections for offspring.” He corrected her.

“I don’t know, that sound like match making to me- oh wait so it’s true? You really did… huh. How uhm…”. Mercy seemed kind of stumped. She had so many questions she wanted to ask about it, she wasn’t quite sure where to start. “Why did you do something like that? Were you worried about people not being able to make their own connections?” In Mercy’s own experience it was something entirely unavoidable with humans. Put them together long enough and feelings would surely take over, the rest was simply biological imperative.

“I created it in the first couple of weeks of our isolation when we need to find ways to approach our situation and potential for a generational ship.” He pointed out bluntly. “We need the best way to approach our future and strong genetics are part of it.”

“How very… logical.” Mercy said the last word almost as if she was teasing him, although the idea of them being a generational ship niggles at her. She had always hoped they might make it home so she could see her family again, but what if Darru was right? What if it was a case of the generations to come? The Captain might be the first to give birth aboard but she would likely not be the last. “Did you account for temperament in terms of child rearing too, or is it simply an exercise in genetic compatibility?” She then tilted her head slightly to the side as they reached the turbo lift. “Wait, did you map out everyone on board? Me too?”

“It was an exercise in genetic compatibility with people willing. I did not process anything without permission.” He assured quickly stepping into the turbo lift.

“Ah of course, because of ethical considerations.” Mercy nods and pressed the deck for the Upper Observation area. She then glanced at him curious. “Did you match yourself to anyone?” It was almost as if she was a glutton for punishment with that question. But maybe the key to be able to recover from her crush would be to try and set Darru up with his genetic partner? She wondered how that would feel, then immediately regretted asking as her stomach did an unpleasant flip. Although she wanted him to be happy, she told herself. There was no denying it would be easier if he was happy with someone outside of his department.

Darru glanced at her and saw her looking up at him for a moment before looking away. He shook his head quickly. “I saw it a pointless exercise.” He admitted.

Mercy frowned a little at that, glancing back to him. “Pointless? How so? Is that because of…” She paused as the lift doors opened, stepping out into the corridor she glanced around quickly making sure they still had a measure of privacy. “Because you were married before?” She asked softly, her voice kept low and gentle as she began to lead the way to the Upper Observation deck. “Or perhaps there is no one you would consider a viable partner?” She kept her tone neutral even as her stomach churned.

‘You’re fishing for trouble M.’ Her grandmothers voice echoed in her brain, always wanting her how her curiosity would only lead to disappointment.

The man shook his head. “My first marriage never played any part in any of my workings out but I never saw myself as a viable partner.” He admitted. At that part of the Atlantis’ journey he had been too new onboard to know anyone and too Vulcan for anyone to have considered as someone to have a relationship with let alone someone to have offspring with.

"Oh, uhm well... no offense Darru but I think you have built that conclusion on some incorrect assumptions." It was said with the same patient tone she had than when she was in the lab and had found an error in the data. "F-for what it is worth, I think you would make an excellent partner... for anyone on board I mean. Uhm if you don't mind me saying?" She stumbled over her words a little, ducking her head as she stepped through the doors to the Observation deck.

"Shall we uhm take a seat?" Mercy had been right in that the area was quiet at this time of day. The small round room had a 360 view with single chair. However there was enough space, just, for Mercy to perch by one of the windows so she could leave the chair for Darru.

The man did not comment on what she said about him being a good partner. In the respect of procreation he would not be a good partner for anyone in his opinion as Vulcan’s and Humans were genetically different. “Sit on the chair. I can sit on the floor.” The man advised moving into the space having forgotten how small the compartment was as he moving to kneel in the space. It still allowed him to see how the window.

Mercy gave a quick nod, but her back was still a little stiff from having tolerated a broken chair for so long. "I think normally one is supposed to nobly decline and insist the senior officer take the chair, but since we are off duty..." She gave him a cheeky wink and then sat down with a deep sigh. Her gaze then settled on the view out the window, or rather the view in it, since until they lowered the lights, it would be more like a mirror. For a moment she studied Darru's features, taking in any small movements or hints of expression. Then she decided to be brave. "Why didn't you tell me?"

The man had been avoiding the gaze in the reflective surface but could not help but glance to her when she asked the question he suspected had been burning in her for a while. “Tell you what?” He questioned happy as he leant over to lower the light to avoid her gaze and to allow her some privacy for what was coming.

As the light lowered the mirror illusion disappeared and the vastness of space was revealed beyond. The view always took Mercy’s breath away for a moment, and she hoped she never got used to it. Surrounded on all four sides as they were by windows, there was also a dizzying moment where Mercy always felt a zing of fear. The realisation that so little was between them and the frozen vacuum. She didn’t look to Darru when she answered, finding it easier to speak without direct eye contact. “When I first kissed you, uhm with the fingers, why didn’t you tell me? Would you… would you ever have told me?”

The man blinked several times despite being prepared for the change in light he still struggled for several seconds. He glanced to her but saw her purposely staring ahead to not look at him. “Most likely eventually if I knew you would not be embarrassed as it was a mistake.” He admitted. “I was trying to not make you feel inferior or stupid. I believed my logic was sound in that.”

Mercy thought for a little longer. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved or if she had been hoping for a different answer. Then she giggled, if only for a brief moment, before she turned to look at him finally. “Yeah it was sound. I did feel both of those things when I found out. Another point for Vulcan logic.” She beamed at him before looking back out the window, no longer feeling quite so fragile. “Thank you for always being so kind to me.” She relaxed a little more into the chair.

Darru nodded to her as he felt something bubbling to the surface of his control. It was not something he expected but it was not completely unfamiliar as he had experienced it before - happiness. His logic had been complimented and he felt that maybe they were able to move forward. “I had not set out to hurt you or be unkind En… Mercy. We are from different words and it is sometimes not always easy to build across those differences.”

Mercy didn’t need to keep her own happiness under control which was good, because she had a terrible poker face and wore most emotions on the surface. “You don’t need to explain, I understand. I didn’t before but now I do so it’s okay.” She let out a small sigh at the thought of them being from different worlds. He was right, there was a large gulf between them, and this likely wouldn’t be the last misunderstanding they had. “Although technically,” her smile turned a little cheeky, “I’m not from a world, I’m from a moon.” She then softened into something more ernest. “But I know what you mean. We are different in more ways than we are similar.”

She had always found those differences fascinating, but right now she also realised they were a challenge. “I wish I could be a little more Vulcan for you.” The words out of her mouth before she had really finished forming her thought. The irony of that being a completely illogical statement didn’t escape her so she returned her gaze back to the stars and tried not to blush too much.

The man rolled what she said around his brain several long moments before he spoke up. “Why?” It was a question that he had to ask. He enjoyed her company and the other humans and Andorians because they were uniquely them so her statement was illogical.

“I think it would make you happier to have someone you could relate to.” She answered simply, then she gave him a slightly rueful look. “Are you going to tell me happiness is illogical and not a requirement for Vulcans? Maybe that might be so, but without wishing your control to be compromised I’d still like you to be happy, or whatever the logical equivalent would be? Satisfaction maybe?”

Darru blinked at what she was saying and ventured into silence as he decided how best to answer her. “This makes me satisfied. Happiness is important for Vulcans too but I left Vulcan to explore the universe. I chose the NX program as I wanted to meet humans and other species so this makes me satisfied.”

Mercy’s smile widened a little and she gave him a pleased nod. “This? You mean being in the NX program? That’s good. I wish I had that, something that gave me satisfaction. I requested this because it paid more, and I wanted to be able to send my Sister to whatever school she wanted to go to. But now we are out here, I find myself wishing I had a clear goal like that. An ambition to work towards, that was something that I did just for me and not anyone else. But then I feel guilty and think I should just stick with what I am doing, because maybe I’m better at helping other people do what they want. I don’t think I even know what I want half the time. Like it’s a muscle I’ve let atrophy.” She then sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. “Ah sorry, I’m getting all maudlin and we were talking about you. Did you find what you were looking for or are you still trying to figure us aliens out?”


The man shook his head and shifted a little from kneeling on his knees to sit in his bottom properly. “We are discussing us both but I would like to go back to yourself and your goals. Science does not make you happy like genetics makes me satisfied?” He asked.

“It does… it did.” Mercy took a deep breath and tried to find the words to best explain herself. “I like the excitement of discovery, and I like working as a team on projects. But even then it’s always been someone else’s project, being the assistant to someone else’s experiment. I guess, I just worry one day I might not regret working for something that was my dream? But what if that’s not how I’m made up you know? What if I can’t do that because I’m just… not a leader or someone who has very good dreams? My grand mother used to say if wishes were horses I’d be the only one walking.” She then looked at him curious. “What is it about genetics that you find satisfying?”

“I enjoy how quirks and discoveries can be made and how that genetics are the basics of everything and how if they can be unlocked you can create or destroy. It’s the great balance in my opinion.” The man explained quickly before turning to look at her. “You might not think you have good dreams but you do dream. All humans dream so what do you dream?” He wondered quietly trying to get to what was under the surface.

"I mostly dream about falling, or ending up in a Starfleet Academy exam naked, but I assume you don't mean literally." Mercy quipped, buying herself a little time to mull over what Darru had said. "I like mycelium for the same reason you like genetics I think. The networks make up the basis for everything, they carry complex messages across echo systems, and we still only understand a fraction of their potential. But I am not sure how useful that kind of research is out here."

"Root-like structures are just as fascinating." He agreed with a nod. "It might not be useful to the ship but it might be useful to you. There is nothing stopping us from developing hobbies and stuff." He advised thinking that he did not know much about her outside of the conversations recently but he was sure she did not have many hobbies.

“I draw.” Mercy admitted quietly. “As a hobby. Mostly it’s plants and things, but sometimes pictures of the crew. Although my sketchbook ran out of paper a while back, so I have been filling up the pages as much as possible.”

The man could not help her with paper but he did have an idea of what could help her with that that idea if she needed to draw. "Cannot help with the paper but I have seen a couple of engineers doing digital drawing." He offered thoughtfully as he glanced to her now able to see in the semi light.

Mercy returned his glance with a soft, curious smile. “They have? Oh that… I think that would be quite good. Perhaps after the fuel crisis is over I can go bother one of them to find out what software they are using.” Mercy then looked away back out into the night. “Thanks for the suggestion, and for trying to help.”

"It is logical to attempt to help people." The man nodded and returned to the silence of the room for a moment before he glanced at her again. "I want to apologise again for my outburst in the mess. I was ... I am under a lot of ... I am feeling a lot of emotions." He admitted trying to gauge what she would think of it all.

Mercy blinked in surprise. She had been expecting to just let that one slide as part of a cultural clash, but when Darru raised it she felt a little pleased. From her limited understanding, it was not easy for Vulcan's to talk about emotions, so she thought carefully for a few moments before she replied. "Apology accepted, although I never expected one in the first place." She gave him a gentle smile. "Some human's have a belief when it comes to emotions; that if you name them, they have less power over you. So we could talk about it? if you want that is, you don't owe me any sort of explanation though."

“I would rather not or at the very least not right now.” He concluded. He was very much not prepared to name it right then and there. He was not prepared to face all of it yet.

“Ah okay.” Mercy felt a little disappointment, but she did her best to hide it. Not everyone overshared like she did and she didn’t want to push Darru when he was already struggling. “Well if you do want to talk about it you know I’m here. And if you never want to discuss it, that’s okay too, or if you want to speak to Hughes about it since I heard he’s doing some sort of counselling training. But totally up to you. No pressure at all, just… thanks for letting me know you are struggling a little. Sometimes I think you are almost too perfect.” She smiled and tried to bring a little teasing and lightness back into the room.

Was he struggling? He had not considered that he was just that he needed time for himself to regain the control he needed. "I am not perfect Mercy." Darrue assured quietly as he glanced to the woman for a moment before he looked away quickly. "I... I should leave you to your evening before I darken the mood again." He said putting his hand on the chair to pull himself from the floor to his feet.

Mercy’s instinct was to place her hand over his and offer reassurance that his presence never darkened anything. However before she could make physical contact, she froze. Her mind replaying all the awkwardness and thus creating an another moment of stilted silence. “Ahh, no it’s… uhm okay? Good night Darru, thank you for the company.” She finally managed to spit out.

The man nodded as he finally stood and exited the compartment to return his run ever so slightly lighter in mood. Maybe he could regain his composure now that he had gotten his mistakes out in the open?