The Silence Is Too Loud

Posted on Fri Jul 18th, 2025 @ 11:17am by Warrant Officer Iryna Voznyuk & Staff Sergeant Nathanial "Nate" Cusack

Mission: Remnant
Location: Fuel Planet
2940 words - 5.9 OF Standard Post Measure

As far as creeks went, it wasn't a particularly impressive specimen. Though it had served them well enough as an initial source of water for cooking and cleaning, the scattered litter of polished river-stones currently left high and dry to bake in the sun was indicative of a reduced flow, possibly seasonal though it was just as likely that lack of maintenance had allowed what was probably once the settlement's main water supply to be rerouted somewhere further upstream. There was still movement, however, enough to avoid stagnation, and with it came a peaceful ambience, the steady trickle of droplets skipping over rocks.

With the news that this was likely their last day on the planet, Nate had strolled the perimeter and eventually come to a stop beside the widest part of the creek, close enough to their camp to have been useful for bathing yet obscured just enough to be comfortable for the same purpose. Scrubbing his face with frigid water had roused a squinted grimace but he'd parked himself against one of the larger boulders and taken his time moving on. Eventually, temptation had won, and the collection of potential champions at his feet had seen a shift in focus to skipping rocks, one after the other flung with a deft flick to dance across the pooled surface. He'd been better than his brother at this too, another aspect of life outdoors where the younger Cusack had finally found dominance, for all the good it had done.

Funny, really, how priorities changed.

Iryna had given him space; she had slept alone, not sought him out when she wanted to, but now, watching him by himself, she could not help but be glad she had followed. He looked like he could use some company and she was hoping they could talk and she could delve into things properly with him. "Fancy some company?" She wondered, pushing off the tree that she had been leaning against.

The complete lack of reaction suggested that Nate had either figured out he had company or simply wasn't surprised by it. It was a nonchalance he tended to rely on, however, so it was just as possible that Iryna had slunk beneath his defenses yet again without discernible resistance. It didn't matter much; the fact that Nate's posture didn't change, or that he kept casting his stones as she moved closer, was generally a good sign even if the lack of eye contact told a conflicting story.

The plink, plonk of a stone skimming the surface had a particular cadence to it that lent itself to easy camaraderie. Had he still been in the mood she'd left him in previously, it would have been more appropriate for Nate to be hurling fist-sized rocks to measure the size of the splatter zone. Both had been strategies in his youth, this one was unquestionably the more welcoming. By the time Iryna had arrived by his side, Nate had fossicked through the small pile at his feet for another likely contender, but this time held it sideways for her to take. He then gestured towards a clump of reeds somewhat central to the widest, deepest section of the creek, to indicate his current target.

Iryna took the silence and the offer of a rock as a sign that he was happy for her to be there. She looked at the rock and hurled it, but it went nowhere near as far as his went. She picked up another one, but it went the same route as the last one. "I believe that you are a lot better at this." She laughed softly. She was not sure that she had ever just done this before.

"First time for everything."

Like many of Nate's compliments, it arrived dressed in its best deflective humour. Teasing was always a good sign though, even if the expression he wore was still remarkably stoic. Flipping another stone up with the tip of his boot, Nate snatched it swiftly from the air before it could land again and moved behind whilst gesturing for Iryna to take the rock from his flat palm.

"Fit it snug here." His grasp around the back of her hand was gentle, perhaps surprisingly to anyone else but not so much to Iryna anymore. With the other, he rotated the stone to create the best fit within the curve of her index finger and then backed them both up. "You want to keep the action horizontal and get as low as you can manage."

The press of his chin atop her head allowed a moment for that intentional innuendo to do its work.

"You're gonna spin it and try to get it to hit the water at twenty-degrees. All in the wrist-action."

Iryna rolled her eyes a little and laughed. "Not the first time you've said that to me." She replied, glad to see that his sense of humour was very much still intact even as he stepped close to her. She let him pull her arm back, but moving forward and throwing the stone was all on her as she watched it bounce a lot more times that it had before. "Well, look at that, it is all in the wrist."

The flash of a playful wink was effort for her benefit, most notable in the fact that Nate would ordinarily have much more to say on the matter were his mood up for the challenge. Instead, the moment passed and introspection reasserted itself, which was a rarer occurence in many ways and arguably more honest at times. Bending down, he scooped up several stones and, after a moment sorting them until only a couple of likely contenders remained, Nate drew back and sent them skipping, one after the other in quick succession, to dance across to nearly the other side.

"Heard we struck gold." The break in silence was another peace-offering, neatly tucked away behind the guise of normal conversation.

"We did," Iryna said, skimming a rock by herself and smiling as it went quite a way now that he had shown her how to do it properly. "Engineers are happy, and we are packing up to head back to the ship in the morning." She glanced at him and slowly stepped into his space and wrapped her arms around him from behind, and squeezed him.

There was peacefulness that had been missing to the minutes that passed like that, both of them stood silently watching the insects flit across the water's surface. At first, Nate accepted the embrace without tension but also without retaliation, an appeasement that allowed Iryna to offer support without rejection or an attempt at diversion. Eventually, however, Nate's arm swung backwards and he pulled her around into a hug of his own. In the love language of Nate Cusack, it was significant, even if it wasn't accompanied by any profound words.

"Least we didn't freeze our balls off this time."

“Much better.” She commented not elaborating whether she meant the hug facing him or whether it was agreeing about not freezing any part of their body off. Both worked and she was grateful for them. She finally stepped back half a step and looked up at him.

And, for the first time in days, Nate maintained intentional eye contact. There was an apology buried somewhere in the effort, though it remained tucked away and unspoken for the time being. Instead, he did the next best thing and finally acknowledged the elephant in the room. Eyebrows hoisted slightly, he asked, "Not going to dump me down here with the rats then?" His tone, at least implied that Nate understood he probably deserved it.

"Thought crossed my mind, but do I need you becoming king of the rats... not really." She teased, leaning up to brush her thumb across his cheek before she sighed. "Nate... talk to me?" She requested softly. She wanted to be there for him. This relationship might have started in a strange way but she liked him, liked him a lot more than she would have liked to admit and wanted to help him.

Of no surprise to anyone, Nate's reponse wasn't immediately forthcoming, nor did it jump at the chance to unload the burden of his feelings on even a sympathetic ear he might actually have trusted with them. He did, however, settle his chin on top of Iryna's head and the silence that filled the initial moments after her gentle plea was a warm kind of hesitation, a willingness to sit in the space even if he wasn't contributing to it very well.

"Was a time," he eventually spoke, "I'd have sold my own mother to the Ferengi for a weekend in a place like this. We lived close enough once I hit my teens that I'd just knick off by myself, but when I was a kid... Probably the only time Dad ever took off his uniform."

"I could see it." She teased as Iryna stepped back a little to look around. "It is nice, but I think I would only enjoy it because you are here," Iryna admitted as she stepped back into the water, watching as it washed over her boots. They were still sealed enough that she did not feel anything getting wet thankfully.

"Junior hated it." There was just enough of a bite to Nate's tone, coupled with the slight derisiveness that came with not using his brother's actual name, that suggested this had made it all the more enjoyable for a younger Nathanial. "Only time I ever saw Dad get frustrated with him."

“I bet junior did.” She grinned at the tone and stepped back to the man taking his hand in hers. “Tell me about them?” She requested as she tugged him in the direction away from the camp.

"You know most of it." She probably didn't but to Nate's way of thinking, the gist was all that was worth repeating. Glancing sideways, he contemplated the likelihood that she'd been drunk when he'd rambled about the bulk of it and managed a crooked smirk. "Or you would if you'd been awake." Returning his gaze to the treeline, Nate lapsed into silence again before picking up the conversation in another place. "He's the good soldier, plays the game the right way. Be an absolute bore to be stuck here with." His face scrunched as he dug the tip of his tongue into his back tooth. "Probably wouldn't have drop-kicked a bug-eyed rat across the room though."

“I cannot help it if your voice lulls me to sleep, Nate.” She said smiling a little at the smirk he gave her. She was remembering the night he had vented, she vaguely remembered some but she wanted to hear but of it sober and awake. “I do not think anyone knows how to play this game.” Iryna commented with a Russian expletive at the end as she contemplated that she did not know how to play it herself.

"It's got me beat, that's for sure."

And so it was with Nate's admissions, arriving in dribs and drabs that required some assembly. This time, as he scuffed his boot against the ground to work loose another stone, he at least consented to elaborated a little further.

"It's starting to feel like the universe is cheating though. Back home, we analysed the threat, figured out a strategy, ran the drills and then executed. Didn't always work and we still had to improvise, but at least you knew what was gunning for you." A sniff of air became a harsh huff of laughter. "Out here, anything goes."

"It does," Iryna could not help but agree there. Out past anything familiar, and the rules of the universe became so much harder and so much more brutal. "Nate... I cannot change what has happened but I am trying to make it more bearable for you," She said, letting go of his hand to take a couple of steps forward.

"It's not about you."

Which was to say, it wasn't her fault. There was a sense of defeat to Nate's tone that made a better attempt at conveying that, his head turned to direct his gaze to the peek of crumbling towers in the distance. What was left of the city wasn't easy to make out but it was there, tucked away like just about every other damn mystery life felt like flinging at him.

"Actually," he said after a moment, turning to stare at the back of her head, "in some ways, it is. I signed on to watch your back." A deep swallow tried to settle the tightness in his throat. "Now I can't even predict if the damn wallpaper's not trying to get inside my head."

Iryna had never for a moment through it was her but she was trying. Trying to be softer when she used to be as hard as iron. “What do you mean you signed on to watch my back?”The woman demanded some sort of clarity hitting her as she turned and looked up at him.

"I'm a sniper, Iryna. Ranged Specialised Cusack."

Just like that, he sounded tired. Worn. Pretty close to how he looked.

"My job is to watch your path and identify the threats, if not clear them. And when the universe plays along, that's not such a hard task. Rebel militia jumps out from the scrub; that's an enemy. Feral animal with big teeth and claws drops down out of a tree; that's an enemy. Big fancy space station floats around sending out distress signals and slowly digests you while feeding you a course of happy juice?" Nate spread his hands in defeat. "Where's the training for that? And how the hell do I alert for it?"

Iryna found herself internally panicking for a moment before she realised she had taken him from to literally and he meant here and now and not over a year ago. The woman looked up at him. “You are a sniper but you are also a medic now Nate. Your job isn’t just protecting everyone. You cannot alert for everything others have to watch your back too.” She explained gently leaning up to touch his cheek.

"Okay, great."

Like the proverbial bursting of the dam, Nate was animated in a way that had been missing for days. Not shouting, as such, and whatever frustration he'd been holding in wasn't so much directed as Iryna as simply laid bare for her to finally witness, but it was least a little closer to the smart-mouthed guy who didn't know how to shut up that she'd been serving with all this time.

"I'll take that. Didn't happen though. We walked onto that station thinking we were there to do some good and that fucking parasite prepped us for dinner like we were ready to thank it for the privilege. Nobody watched my back. Nobody had a damn idea they were even supposed to until, what, some random guy shows up with all the answers? And how often is that going to work?"

Liberated from the gist of his current source of dread, Nate exhaled and dropped his head, shaking it in open disdain as he scowled at the stones beneath his feet.

"And now the ship's falling to pieces." His tone had abated and, once again, he simply sounded defeated. "I'm not afraid to die, Iryna, but I'll be fucked if I'm going out gasping for breath in a sardine can."

“The ship needs energy, much like we do. She’s hungry. Neither of us falls apart from hunger, do we?” She offered quietly trying to find a MACO approach to helping him but she was failing. She hated that she had not realised the cause until right then and there.

Logic had never been Nate Cusack's friend. It was difficult to argue with and had a way of proving itself correct over and over again. Rather than fight it, he sat in the moment of abject misery without the energy to pretend otherwise and, eventually, reached both hands out to settle against Iryna's hips. The movement brought his forehead down to rest against her's and he was still for a long time before speaking.

"You have no idea what I would give for a good ol' fashion Gorn attack."

It was a pretty extreme thing to wish for but the attempt at levity was genuine.

"Like you have ever seen a Gorn." Iryna teased softly as she sighed, looking up at him bent down to her, keeping her there with his light grip on her hip. "If you need to spar, you have a very willing partner." She pointed out, winding her arms up around his neck.

It was an offer met with silence but not without a response. The slip of his arms to gather her to him spoke in volumes that Nate would have struggled with unless he was shouting obscenities and, for once, he seemed drained of the energy for that fallback. There would be time for yelling later, because there always was; right now, if there was the slightest sliver of possibility that he could wrap himself around one person tightly enough to take the first hit from whatever the universe wanted to fling at them, then he'd take it.

He'd make coleslaw out of the mayhem if it wanted to try him again. First course on the dinner menu in Hell, which was where the whole damn lot of them could go. Just as soon as he figured out who them was.