Where to go...

Posted on Sun Jul 5th, 2020 @ 6:28am by Lieutenant Samantha Leyton

Lieutenant JG Samantha Leyton's Personal Log. Time 0200.

I can't sleep. We had another Vrav Attack this afternoon. I had to pull off an improvised maneuver that not only put the ship at extreme risk but also endangered the crew. I learned that Ensign Livingston was killed while en route to the bridge--killed by my maneuver when a console near him overloaded. I know risk is part of this job...but...I... (voice cracking) I feel responsible and now the Flight Control Department is short one member. I swear this department has to be the unluckiest department aboard. First, we lose Lieutenant Davis due to injury to his hands and now Livingston is gone. There are times...I don't know. There are times I feel as lost as we are.

At first I was excited about being assigned to the Atlantis...now...now I don't know what to think. So much rides on me to fly this ship home and keep them safe in the process. What happens when I fail? How many more...will die? I remember what my grandfather told me when I graduated Starfleet Academy: "The ultimate measure of a person is not where they stand in moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand at times of challenge and controversy." He said it was a quote from a 20th Century Activist named Martin Luther King Jr. My grandfather...I can't help but hope to see him and the rest of my family someday soon. Hopefully we will find a way back home.

(Deep breath and momentary pause) Well with the Flight Control Department hurting for pilots, I guess I will need to train some new pilots....that won't be easy. Because if...if something happens to me...the Atlantis will really be hurting for qualified Flight Control Officers. I just hope I can live up to the confidence that Commander Leroux has in me because I'm not sure how many more of these attacks I can take. Well...I guess I should try to get what sleep I can and hope that tomorrow is more peaceful.