I Want To Talk But Not Now

Posted on Tue Feb 1st, 2022 @ 4:02am by Ensign Alexandra 'Lexi' O'Connery & Commander William Gerhard

Mission: Mission 5 - Babel
Location: Unknown Planet
Timeline: Day 273 23:00
2099 words - 4.2 OF Standard Post Measure

Lexi sat around the campfire smiling at the jokes that were being made around her. She was not joining in but she was listening to what was being said and enjoying it. People were so much lighter in the mood now compared to how stretched and strained they had been for the last few weeks. People together all of the time in such a small space had tested even the most patient of the crew, the only person who seemed to be unaffected seemed to be the Engineers but maybe that was because they were hiding in Jeffrey tubes or were used to the right space and people.

“I am sorry what?” Lexi said, glancing at the person to her left. She had not heard what they had said as she had been engrossed in her thoughts.

"I was asking how you enjoyed your day in the tower," William asked as he sat next to Lexi around the fire. This was going to be his last night planet side after scouting the woods earlier in the day. It would also be the first true night he would experience on the planet. He knew Lexi had been going over the writings inside the tower, and he could tell from her mood that she had thoroughly enjoyed her day.

“You make it sound like I was locked up.” She teased taking a sip of the booze she had sneaked into her cup from the stash a marine had brought down. “It has been nice to use my brain and try and work out a pattern. It almost reminds me of Egyptian hieroglyphs.” She admitted turning better to look at him touching her knee to his.

He felt the touch of her knee as he looked into the fire. He looked over at her and smiled. He could tell from her expression that she was truly happy with her time spent in the tower, "I never implied you were locked up. But I did overhear that you stayed inside the tower all day." He caught a whiff of the booze on her up and gave her a look with a raised eyebrow. He knew that some of the MACOs had fashioned a still, but he had yet to sample their brew.

“What about you? Another night down here huh? Do you have bedding this time?” She teased in a low voice. No one was paying my attention as they were laughing and enjoying their own moments too much.

"Ohh yes, last time my tent mate kept me up with their snoring," he said as he covered the grin on his face with his hand. He looked over at her as he anticipated the soft punch in the arm she gave him.

“Should have shot you.” She whispered in only a language he would understand instead of punching his arm. She shook her head grinning at him as she took another sip of the marine booze. It was heavy and strong but perfect for dulling her senses enough to focus on the there and then.

He smiled back at her before looking up at the stars. "I'm surprised at how quickly the temperature dropped when the sun went down," he said before pushing his feet closer towards the fire. He looked back over to her, "Mind if I have a sip of what's making you so giddy?" He raised an eyebrow and looked at her mischievously.

"Aye surprised me myself. You would think with the slower twilight periods it would change and slow it down to give you time to adjust." She almost snuggled close to him before she stopped herself. They did not need to advertise them despite saying they were not going to keep it secrete. There was something about the look around him but she held it out to him. "Are you planning on drinking? I could get you your own?"

"Well I'm particular about my spirits, but I haven't had a chance to try it yet," he said as he then took her offered cup and took a sip of the homebrew in her cup. He felt the burn at the back of his throat, but he felt the smoothness of the booze as he swallowed. He whistled softly as he felt the heat from the drink pass through him and hit his toes. He handed the cup back to Lexi, "Thats really good, no wonder the MACOs have been keeping it a secret."

Lexi was suprised to get the cup back and put it up the ground before getting up. She returned a few moments later with two full mugs handing him one. “It’s our secrete now.” She grinned.

Willam accepted the mug with a grin and upraised brow. "I never would've thought alittle booze would put you in such a good mood," he teased before sipping from his mug. He looked into the fire as he listened to it crackle and pop as he felt her get closer to him. "So, do you have any interesting stories from times you've been too drunk that i don't know about," he asked with a sly grin.

“Numbs a lot of issues and I am not. I’m just enjoying the evening and company.” She murmured looking into her mug taking a small sip as she took in his sly grin. “Afraid not. I had not really drunk until the academy. It was not worth it.” She did not want to not have her wits around her when it came to her ex. It was how she eventually gotten away from him.

He nodded in response and kept the grin on his face. "Well, there was this one time at Jupiter Station..," he said as he trailed off looking up to the stars. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye and saw her surprised look at him. "But that's a boring story. You probably don't want to hear that one," he said as he took another sip and looked at her over the rim of his mug and he stifled a laugh.

“Pfft you cannot just leave me hanging at this one time at Jupiter station. That is how all good stories start.” She mused trying to look too surprised at the fact he had a story to tell her. She had never seen him drunk or drinking so maybe this would be a new side to him for her to learn about.

"Well I had just made Chief, and the Bradbury was undergoing some minor repairs. So the other Chiefs took me out to the bar and things got alittle tipsy," he began explaining. He pause to look over at her, "Mind you, I'd never drunk that much, but I succumbed to the peer pressure and had a few too many. As was explained to me afterwards, I supposedly challenged a fairly stout Ukrainian dock worker to an arm wrestling contest. The only thing I remember is waking up in the infirmary with a hyperextended elbow." William took a sip from his mug before continuing, "But i won the contest. Since then I've only ever partaken in moderation."

“A few sips of booze and we are completely different people.” She grinned trying to not let on that deep down it scared her slightly. She had seen how booze changed people.

William noticed that she seemed slightly off put about his story. "Trust me, I know my limits when it comes to drink. That is why this is my only glass this evening," he said reassuringly as he held up his mug.

“Was it that obvious?” She wondered looking at her mug in her hands. “My ex the one that made me run away to see the stars liked his Sherbet.” She admitted thinking that it was the first time she had admitted that her previous relationship had been less than ideal.

"I'm just really observant," he said before looking back over at her. They had never really discussed her ex, and he hadn't forced the issue. He reached over and subtly took her hand in his. "While I can only imagine how difficult that was, but if you wouldn't have joined Starfleet because of him we'd have never found each other," he said softly.

"That you are. It is one of your most endearing traits." The woman said noting just how observant he was. It had to be something with his profession as she noted that CJ, Sloan and King all had very similar traits. "I know... It just haunts me. He was not a very nice man and I worry that everyone will turn out like him." She shook herself out of her thoughts and looked at him taking her hand and smiled that he was willing to be vulnerable in front of everyone around the campfire.

William listened without interrupting her. They had not had many discussions regarding her previous relationship. He had known that it was a very toxic relationship, but he had never pushed her to discuss it. He knew that in her own time she would open up to him. He thought about his own demons and what he had not shared with her as she continued.

"I feel like I am being haunted by my past and my future at the moment. I saw something on the DataCore when I was fitting it with Elegy." She finally said revealing what had been on her head and heart. It was not telling him that was not on the manifest in less than a year as she was sure that he could not deal with it just like she was struggling with it all but she wanted to open up to him.

"I can understand being haunted by your past. There are still times when I find myself thinking back to the hell that was my childhood," he said before turning back to her. She had finally mentioned what she had seen on the DataCore. He chose his next words carefully, "And what you saw on it is why you've seemed distracted. What did you find?"

The woman closed her eyes as she heard his question and scrunched her nose up. “If I ask you not to ask that question would you take it back cause I don’t want to share the burden with you.” She whispered opening her eyes to look at him. “I love you too much to share it with you, William. Please don’t ask me too.” She said looking close to tears.

He looked at her deeply. He knew that she cared for him deeply, and his love for her was just as deep. He nodded as he squeezed her hand, "Ok, I won't ask that question of you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you, and I'll always be here for you come hell or high water." He looked into her eyes for a bit before speaking softly, "I love you too, Lexi."

"I know." She quickly assured knowing deep down that was why she could not tell him. He would try and change her fate. The woman nodded and pulled her hand back wrapping it around the mug as she watched the fire dancing across the thick logs they had to keep the chill of the night off the crew gathered around it.

The silence loomed for a long time despite people going to bed just leaving them around the fire but Lexi did not say anything until she downed the rest of the mug grimacing at the aftertaste.

William sat with her and watched the others go. He looked up at the sky and leaned back in his seat. In all his time in Starfleet, he had never really taken the time to contemplate where he was and look at the stars. But right there in that moment, he took in where he was and how small he felt in the galaxy. "You know, i don't think I've ever really looked at the stars since I've been in Starfleet. They truly are beautiful," he said before glancing over at her and smiled, "And I'm glad that I get to explore them with you."

The woman nodded. “Me too.” She had not started gazed since the algae planet properly as they had just not stopped. “You and me under this great big sky.” She snuggled closer to him for a moment savouring it. She wanted to store up little moments like she was having there and then for him and her for when the bubble burst.