Everything Exploded Into Pretty Pieces

Posted on Thu Feb 9th, 2023 @ 11:51am by Warrant Officer Iryna Voznyuk & Staff Sergeant Nathanial "Nate" Cusack

Mission: Sojurn
Location: Relea
Timeline: Day 233 Late
3987 words - 8 OF Standard Post Measure

Iryna stood staring out the window for a good twenty minutes watching the strange fish moving around outside. It was amazing to see something other than blackness. The underwater city was lit up like it was day and it gave her a strange longing for the big cities like New York or London for a moment. She would never have picked Moscow to be lit up like that but that was her preference on what she preferred. She was dressed in her MACO uniform but without the usual belt and weaponry as she had been assured by everyone that it was no needed but she could still not relax.

Even in the beautiful surroundings of the small guest room where she could have a bath or a shower without someone interrupting or sleep in a bed bigger than she had experienced in years she was at a lost of how to relax. She turned to go look at something else and caught herself pausing in the doorway as she noticed Nate across the corridor coming into the shared living area for the space they had been provided by the Releaians.

Nathan was currently in two minds about just about everything. There was no question that an opportunity to get off the ship was a welcome one, and he would have walked through fire and brimstone if only for the chance to feel solid ground beneath his feet for once. The landscape here was harsh and extreme in places but it was real and it crunched under his boots when he tried to walk through it. The problem was, and he had already disclosed enough in certain circles for this to be easy to predict, it was absolutely bloody freezing.

He didn't do well in the cold.

The subterranean city was a nice touch, though if he thought about it too much, being surrounded by water was oddly claustrophobic. It shouldn't have been, he'd spent enough time in the vacuum of space to have already dealt with the concept of being surrounded by an environment that would kill you if it leaked in, but this seemed more dubious somehow. Perhaps it was the bulbous eyes that occasionally stared back at him. It was more tolerable than the temperature up on the surface and that alone was justification for seeking refuge but Nate was also just frustrated by the sensation of being trapped yet again. He wanted to try snowboarding. Nobody here seemed to have invented it yet.

And so, he'd taken to wandering, meandering through the city's transparent corridors with an increasing desire to forget that he'd ever watched Jaws. He stopped a moment as he returned to their allocated section and straightened, just a little, when he realised who it was passing the time in much the same fashion as he was. A sense of déjà vu nearly prompted him to leave her to it but he relented as the turn of her head indicated he'd missed his opportunity. Hands stuffed into his pockets, he wandered over.

"Seen any of the big blue puffy ones yet?"

Iryna turned her attention back to the window and shook her head. “I do not believe I have.” She admitted slowly as he joined her. She shook a step to the left to allow the door to the sleeping area close behind her and block off her exit leaving her to face the man. She had not seen him since the escape pod properly and that had ended in her receiving a dressing down from Jamesson which she barely remembered thanks to the booze.

Cusack, for his part, had leaned closer to screw his face up at the aquatic view, which was only marginally less terrifying than the potential of the woman beside him to serve his genitals to him for breakfast. He hadn't been avoiding her so much as just deciding to be very accepting of the fact she rarely seemed to show up in his presence lately. Dancing in an escape pod was an odd theme for regret but it seemed easier to let her think that way than risk the fallout of a conversation where he declared otherwise. Hell, he'd do it again if it came without too many caveats. Admitting as much may very well not have been in his best interests, however.

"Got a spike on them seems overkill for something already capable of expelling neuro-toxins out their backside." He'd taken a guided tour, which hadn't really alleviated his boredom but had definitely reaffirmed that, even without the dip in temperature, snorkelling wasn't probably going to be a great idea.

“Guided tour?” She said smiling a little she had not taken any tours herself but it was something she had considered. The tiny submarine tours had pipped her interest when her group had walked up there but she had not done much about it. It sounded just like him to join a group to find out more. “Are you enjoying it down here then?” she asked trying to make conversation as it was her own fault for making thing awkward since. She had avoided him for that night had undone everything she had built around herself.

Nate grimaced, another screwed up expression, and lifted a hand to wobble it back and forth. "It's cold as a snowman's left tit," he pointed out glibly, as if snowmen even possessed the right anatomy to make the comparison work. "And I like surfing but the actual ocean is terrifying." He watched a school of brightly coloured fish swim past with dubious appreciation. "It's different," he decided upon, turning his gaze finally to look at her. Pausing like that, waiting to see if she'd look away, he added, "And I can get behind different."

“Course you can. You are that type of person.” She said simply keeping his gaze for a moment before she looked away not able to maintain it. It felt like he was looking into her soul and no one needed that. Especially when she acted like she did not have a soul sometimes. “So what you got planned next? I saw Lieutenant Diaz was down here and ready to explore.” She pointed out gently.

It was like a dog that just refused to stay buried. Granted, he'd been stubborn about it at first, caught up in himself to an extent that he'd convinced himself the off-and-on cycle was just adjustment issues. He was thick-skulled but he'd figured it out in the end and, well, talk was cheap and the crew didn't always have a heap of better things to occupy themselves with. Scuttlebutt wasn't going to magically revive the long-dead, however. "Making friends with every local she comes across," he agreed. "It'll keep her busy enough." Hopefully it was implication enough to send a lasting message. He really didn't need Voznyuk's speculation on top of everyone else's. "As for me, thought I might see what snow sports they've got going. Once I can feel my toes again, that is."

Iryna nodded. Not at all sure she got the right message but she nodded that at the very moment it least he had no where else to go. “Should have some of the spicy almost hot chocolate that they have going around it seems to warm you right through or go and have a proper shower without time limits.” She offered suggestion to help him. “Seems our uniforms are not that good at keeping this kind of temperature out. Might just huddle up in the bed they’ve provided.” She said thinking aloud.

The final suggestion earned her a raised eyebrow, though the conversation itself was enough to provoke a few queries. Nate supposed it was better than the alternative, if not marginally more risky than her intent to ignore him, but it was curious that she'd chosen now to turn and face him. There were way more options for running away on a planet, after all. "I don't tend to spend a lot of time languishing in bed on my own," he dared, the faintest glint in his eye one that often earned him the roll of pretty eyes. "Besides, I thought they were sorting out surface-clothes for us."

“So I have heard.” Iryna said back with a roll of her eyes as she noticed the glint. “No idea. I am not privy to things like that at the moment.” She hoped that they were but she was not sure that there would be anything much warmer on the ship.

"Oh, I just asked a fish-man if they had any sort of snow suit that would fit me." The flippancy of his tone, whilst his word choice bordered on offensive, was at least familiar enough that a case could be argued in favour of his off-beat sense of humour. It was a pitfall, one she'd corrected him on before, but Nate was rarely actually trying to be insensitive. If it had made the slippery local feel better, he would have gladly consented to being called an ape-child.

"Nate... Come on do not call them that." She pleaded in a gentle voice. "One of these days Leroux or Gerhard are going to hear you and I am going to be dragging your ass to the brig to avoid you causing a diplomatic incident." She teased just a little but it was a concern of hers when the Realians had been such gracious hosts so far.

"What?", came the instant protest, partially suffocated by a boyish demeanour that took a little too much pleasure in its own mischief. "I like fish, it's not an insult. At least as long as I don't bait up a line and cast it into their hatchery." The look in her eyes was far too familiar, and though there had been a time very recently where Nate could have sworn he did not care in the least to try and rectify it, he found himself now rolling his eyes in an exaggerated huff of defeat. "Which I obviously wouldn't do."

"Please do not." She said looking concerned for him despite his look of defeat and assurances that he would not do it. Deep down she knew he would not have meant to do it but that did not stop the thoughts that he would accidentally do it.

"Relax, boss, I'm not going to go ice fishing in someone's backyard."

"Um... " She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Jamesson not said anything to you about the pod?" She wondered.

The other marine frowned. "Why would Jamesson have anything to say to me about his precious pod? We didn't trash it, right?" On the balance of things, Nate would have started out by saying that he didn't have much of an opinion about the engineer at all, having not really known him too much before he died the first time around. As of that exact morning, he was forced to consider the other man in more depth because a previous lack of acquaintance had suddenly become red-hot daggers flung across the room at him. And then Diaz had punched him in the arm and told him to stop being a jerk!

"I guess finding us asleep upset him." She decided with a shrug. She could understand his issues as it was the last connection to his home ship and his whole world but they had literally danced and then passed out so there was nothing wrong with that in her opinion. But she had accepted the chew-out and was relieved that it was just her that had received it and not anyone else.

"Could have been worse," said Nate's mouth without permission from his brain. There was a pause as he'd realised he'd said it, and then the inevitable doubling-down as his pride wouldn't let him back-pedal. "We didn't even make a mess. He seems to be avoiding me anyway, maybe drooling all over his command chair is what's got his knickers in a knot."

"Probably for the best." She surmised and shrugged. It could have been worse if they had not passed out, both had been drunk and tension had been high between them both. It was hard to not think on the what ifs but she was relieved that he had not taken advantage even if she would have been more than willing.

"I guess we'll have to pick somewhere else to dance next time."

The boldness wasn't a surprise. That direct and forthright confidence had been a hallmark of Cusack's personality from the start and more than a slight headache for anyone attempting to keep him in line. The willingness was new, however, the quirk of an eyebrow that dared her to consider him disingenuous in any way. For her to be concerned about Jamesson meant that Voznyuk hadn't fully moved past it all, and Nate had already confronted his own curiosity in prodding further. A few weeks ago, he wouldn't have picked it, but then a few weeks ago, she hadn't laid her head on his shoulder and relaxed for the first time in a decade.

"I guess we will. You get to pick next time if you find time in your busy schedule." She said offering it up to him with a bigger grin. Iryna was going to say more when another crew member came through the space stopping the flow for a moment as she offered a smile to them before glancing up at her companion blushing.

And that hitched his eyebrow to its highest peak. "Is that a blush I see, Warrant Officer?" He hadn't been imagining the change in her demeanour since that night, despite the fact that he had noticed she was a little more scarce at times.

"Bit hot in here." She glanced at him and shrugged. "What? What do you want me to say, Nate?" She challenged him just a little that it made her feel a little better doing it as it was comfortable ground. She challenged him, and he did it back. It kept them just on edge enough.

Even though there had been no obvious point at which he'd moved, the previous interruption had readjusted position just enough to close the gap between them. An inch or two over the threshold of polite social distance, just close enough for Nate to take decent advantage of his height. His eyes traced elements of her face before lifting to regard her burning stare with audacious appreciation and he dropped his tone just enough to evoke a sense of intimacy. "I don't know, is there anything you want to say?"

And there it was that tension that she had thought she might have imagined for the last few weeks. "Lots..." She answered looking up at him surprised at the sudden change between them. It was like a switch had been flipped and suddenly the person coming into the space had charged them.

For a split second, Nate's gaze roamed again, taking advantage of the opportunity to stop and savour without the threat of imminent concussion. It wasn't a covetous glance, however, nor a particularly lecherous one. If the man had managed to earn himself any credit, he'd proven he had some manners in that regard. But there was an appreciation that he didn't attempt to curb, an indulgence once again in the recognition that she genuinely did have eyes that a man could drown in when they weren't shooting lasers. "I'm listening."

The woman stared back and shook her head as if that would dislodge the charge. “No you are not, Nate.” She bit her lip looking away despite the hold his gaze had over him.

The marine didn't respond at first, intent instead on cocking his head to the side to study her profile. Being given a wide berth hadn't bothered Nate too much, it at least seemed to have a plausible explanation and had been exacerbated by the diversion and subsequent sight-seeing. What he'd expected once the subject finally came up, however, was either denial or a very firm closed door to the face because there was no eventuality that he'd conjured up where Voznyuk didn't re-erect her forcefield and just push forward. This, whatever this was, was almost as alien to him as the fish-men offering to make him clothes.

After a moment, once the brass balls he was renown for having fueled enough courage to act, he risked an outstretched hand to hook a finger against her chin, an attempt to guide her gaze back around so that he could see her properly. "Well that's probably because you're not talking to me," he pointed out, quieter than his usual bravado. "You don't usually have any trouble telling me what you think of me, what's changed?"

“Nothing. Nothing you are right I have no issue telling you. I must just need some air or something.” She said as her gaze came back to looking at his as he was impossible to ignore at his prompting. “Just drop this, neither of us … we are not right for whatever this is.”

It had been on the tip of Nate's tongue to quip back, to ask if a conversation was really so far off the radar as to be an unacceptable risk, but that would have meant pretending he didn't know what she meant and Nate had no stomach for games at the moment. He was equally as tired as being told he wasn't good enough, which accounted for the sudden furrow of his brow. He dropped his hand, releasing her from the apparently-unwanted attempt at connection. A slow shake of his head conveyed his disbelief. "Unbelievable."

Somewhere, it could be argued quite deep down, there was a human being underneath all of Cusack's bravado. Whatever could be said about its manners at times, there was at least a point to be made about what it had weathered over its time, particularly the shitshow that was the last year. Being used as a constant punching bag for other people's insecurities was starting to wear thin. As much as the anger in his eyes was familiar, the glimmer of emotion that rested just beneath that resembled genuine hurt and frustration didn't often see the light of day.

"Fine," he consented, taking a step back with a sweep of his hands to indicate he'd gifted her back the distance she coveted so much. "If that's the conclusion after an actual attempt to talk about things that matter, then I guess you might as well go back to scraping me off the bottom of your boot again."

"What do you want me to say Nate here? I don't want to be a notch in your bedpost." She said looking vulnerable. "It is not a conclusion I want... the scuttlebutt around the ship is you're already involved and I do not want to have to spend the next how many years I have on this vessel being reminded of that mistake of being the other person." It came tumbling about and she thought to the warning from Jamesson around it all and how she was not that woman. It had been years since she had been involved with anyone as she did not want the emotional damage.

Though far from over his frustration, Nate channelled it immediately into a frown of annoyed confusion. "Wait, what?" And despite the fact that he had the guile and the balls to look a person directly in the eye and lie if his life depended on it, Cusack had mostly proven that he rarely felt the need to be deceitful. That tended to involve admitting shame and he wasn't big on that. "Who the hell am I... Oh, for fuck's sake."

Arriving at a likely answer to his own question, Nate's hands found his hips as he turned his head away, shaking it once in a while in barely-concealed annoyance. It wasn't just his reputation, which he honestly wasn't that bothered about. As much as a revelation as it might have been, he actually cared about the fact that the other person involved had wanted to avoid this very thing.

A hand lifted, finger extended, and whilst his anger was no longer directed at her, it was clear that Nate was still struggling to keep his composure in check. "I had a mutually-consensual relationship once in this whole time. Once." He shook the hand for emphasis. "And that ended when she told me she wasn't interested in taking it further. I'm sorry if remaining on speaking terms doesn't fit everyone's definition of a decent break-up but there's not exactly a lot of places to hide."

Iryna kept herself still like a statue as she listened to him and knew exactly how it felt to not be able to hide. She was really wishing there and then that she had somewhere to hide so they were out in the open even in the living area of the hotel there was a huge chance of someone walking in. "I am just telling you what I feel and what is being said." She looked away and shrugged.

"No," Nate replied, his tone suddenly quiet and devoid of the earlier aggression. "No, what you're telling me is what you think of me. What you're willing to believe of me. What you'll decide about me without even asking." The set of his jaw pressed his lips together as he shook his head once more. "Not much point in arguing with foregone conclusions, right?"

And despite the fact that he wasn't a quitter, that he had a tenacity for refusing to back down, Nate couldn't help but realise that he was in full agreement regarding the idiocy of thinking he could have maybe tried again, even if it was only to explore a spark that had flared out of no where. It was his father all over again; guilty until proven innocent. Well, he was tired of pleading his case.

"No, you are 100% right... Jamesson is 100% right too...I am fed up with fighting. This was a big mistake on me...this would never work." She said in a soft voice as she pushed back from the wall and slammed her hand on the door release to go back into her bedroom.

Jamesson.

And suddenly it all made sense.

Petty, jealous bastard.

"Suit yourself."

On the turn to leave, Nate pulled himself back around so that mostly all he achieved was a complete rotation. "But do me a favour next time you're talking to Jamesson." The marine's expression twitched with resentment. "He's already put Calanthe through enough. The least he could do is respect her call on this, same as I've had to. I'm not fucking anyone, sir. Couldn't care less about sexual conquest either, or any of the other piece-of-shit moves you want to accuse me of. Cal's just a friend these days, and if you could keep her name out of your mouth the next time you listen to scuttlebutt, you might actually claw back an inch of the respect you just ripped to shreds because you chose to listen to a paranoid asshole."

He was done. The pace that he set as he strode from the area was as close to a jog as Cusack could get whilst still walking. Seething from the insult, angry at himself for believing anything better could have come from trying to pry loose the Ice Queen's shell, he made a beeline for whatever vessel was going to get him out of the habitat the fastest. Preferably before he punched a hole in their fishbowl.