Snow Angels

Posted on Sun Feb 5th, 2023 @ 11:37am by Ensign Isaac 'Zac' Hughes & Chief Petty Officer Nish Karalo

Mission: Sojurn
Location: Planet's Surface
Timeline: Some time on the first day.
3074 words - 6.1 OF Standard Post Measure

"Can you imagine, first day on the job and the Warp Core craps out on me. I was shitting myself. What did I do wrong? Why does this always happen to me? Did Smith come back?" Nish's eyes widened as she said that last bit and she immediately spat through the gap between her index and middle finger to stave off the jinx that she had just incurred. "Couldn't even ease the ship back into sub-light speeds, just boom. Stuck in neutral." She shook her head. Even after a few days it was the primary thing on her mind. The cold of the planet around her, the majesty of the ice like structures in the distance, the wonder of an entirely new and unknown culture and species all seemed to pass her by. "Do you think it was me? I mean, engineering said it had nothing to do with me, but I feel like since they don't have a choice but to rely on me for navigation it might've been me and they're too afraid to tell me."

Hands wedged firmly into the pockets of his jacket, gloved but still unused enough to the extreme cold to have retained much sensation, Isaac listened. It was partially because there wasn't a lot of space in between words to squeeze his own thoughts in but also because it was just what he did. Manishie's expressiveness was easily a strength in her friend's eyes but it required a carefully modulated intervention that permitted just enough time for the de-escalation of initial tension without descending into unhelpful fixation. He'd been cutting her some slack because trauma had a way of inserting itself into situations that didn't warrant it, but the questions had started. Once she started genuinely turning to him for validation, Zac knew he was fine to speak up.

"If it had been something you'd done, they'd have had no choice but to tell you." Logic first. He'd deal with the underlying self-doubt once her inordinately clever mind was back on his side again. "Quite aside from not having the luxury of adopting a 'be nice and hope it doesn't happen again' philosophy, Leroux seems intent on running things to protocol. I doubt she'd leave anyone at the helm who'd somehow managed to find the one big red button that turned everything off."

Gentle humour next.

"There was a massive systems failure, Nish. You neither caused it, nor could you have anticipated it. Come on," he appealed to her, sacrificing a warm pocket to reach across and rub her shoulder. "You know that."

Nish simply shook her head at that. There must've been something that a more experienced pilot would've noticed, she was convinced of that. "I don't know, you're just saying that because you want to stay on my good side." She did lean into the gentle rub across her shoulders. It was nice to know there was someone that cared enough about her to lie to her about such things. This was normally the moment where she'd veer wildly off topic and try to focus on anything else but all her mind did was circle back around to that moment. "Nobody got seriously injured, did they?" It was something that she hadn't really even considered up until now. She hadn't heard any reports of casualties due to the sudden shock of dropping out of warp, but Zac would know.

The question put distance between the accusation and a viable opportunity to speak again but wasn't enough to smooth out the frown that creased Isaac's brow. Stubbornness he was used to, even in regards to an idea she just wouldn't give up on easily, but this level of accountability and the unwillingness to draw feasible reference from the observable behaviour of those around her was worrisome. His eyes, burning as they were wont with the intensity of empathetic scrutiny, studied her face as he replied decisively, "If there were any significant concerns, I wouldn't be down here." There was a slight edge to his voice, not quite recrimination but a pointed and precise level of stern reason that chastised her negative self-talk for trying to implicate him in its cycle of inadequacy.

Nish's shoulders slumped and she sighed, "Then why do I feel so tense, and anxious, and inadequate?" She finally blurted out. It had been something that had been around even before the warp core failure and it was probably a good measure of survivor's guilt. She balled her fists, why was she so angry with herself? With the universe? The cold was burning her eyes and she realised it was because water was welling up in them. She quickly wiped away at it. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be dumping all of this on you." She quickly reached down and balled up a good amount of snow to throw at her friend.

"You should absolutely be dumping it all on me, it's not going to do any good letting it fester." The doctor eyeballed her handful of snow warily. "In the grand scheme of things that should be dumped on me, however, it is one of the few options that won't evoke immediate retaliation."

It was warning enough, though Manishie's willingness to pummel him with something was generally a good sign. It showed a progression of sorts, even if it seemed like there was a much deeper issue that needed working through. Helping the rest of the crew was something Isaac felt like he could manage, mostly because when it came to mental health there was usually some benefit to an impartial, objective opinion and none of these people knew him the way he remembered them. It would be an advantage in getting them to open up. Manishie and Ben were different beasts, their problems compounded by the fact that he shared many of them. There weren't a whole heap of easy fixes for having your entire existence yanked out from underneath you.

His measured response and warm openness towards her didn't really change her mind. Without too much effort Nish launched the snowball in the direction of Zac's face and immediately started to run away to avoid any coming back at her. Increasing her chances to get away unscathed. She grabbed another hand full of snow and threw it towards one of the few people she trusted. "I bet you couldn't even hit the broad side of a barn..." Another snowball arced in his direction. "If you were standing inside the barn!"

She had a rotten aim, which was to say she never missed and usually the first blow copped him right on the nose. It didn't seem to matter if it was a pillow, or mashed potato substitute, or mud. The mud was a fond memory, if only because it was a feature of the last time they'd been able to spend any time on actual solid ground, even if it had been a little squishy and slippery in places. Wisdom would have dictated that Isaac should have known better by now, and perhaps he did. It wasn't as if it was wildly out of character for the man to see his impending doom approaching and choose to walk towards it anyway.

His smushed up face slowly relaxed into a partial squint. Completely in keeping with the way these things went, her frantic volley meant to cover her retreat was a little less accurate; the last one managed to hit him in the knee, which was slightly better than the one previous missing him by a country mile. Stooping with controlled, composed intent, Isaac flinched and dodged another attempt whilst compacting snow between his hands for the perfect sphere. "Careful there, Karalo, your track record with winning wagers isn't the strongest."

"Yeah well. You suck at throwing snow!" Nish had taken up position and threw another thick ball in his direction, this one hitting him square in the chest. It was odd to realise in that moment why she had come to the surface of this planet, with the company of Zac. It froze her for a moment and she had a doofy smile on her face as she saw him gather snow to pelt her again. "Come" She spread her arms. "I won't move. I promise."

They were too far down the rabbit hole for her expression of dubious supplication to fool Isaac. There had been a time where his tendency to believe the best in others had left him wide open for inevitable betrayal but, whilst he could possibly be accused of being gullible, he certainly wasn't dense. Arm at the ready, a snowball cupped in the palm of his hand, he approached warily and with great caution, crossing the threshold that would have allowed a swift and hasty retreat before continuing to stalk closer still.

"I will concede but you have to admit that you're awesome and I'm lucky to have you around."

It was a vicious psychological attack, the most brutal and uncompromising of all tactics.

Nish's arms lowered at that, "What?" it took her a moment to process what he had just said. "Fine, you can't live without me." She still remained frozen in place, not quite registering that he was getting closer and that she'd have trouble running away from him if he decided to pounce. "Though for the life of me I can't imagine why." She shrugged and then suddenly realised how close he had gotten to her. "Hey!"

"Now, now, no taking it back." There was devilment in the doctor's eyes that most vague acquaintances wouldn't have accused him of. He extended the hand holding the snowball towards his friend, an offering that made no sense other than the fact he had just offered to surrender. "You are not a burden, you are not a failure, you are not personally responsible for every hardship that befalls you or anyone around you."

With a bit of trepidation she grabbed the snowball he had been holding and stepped into an embrace. "I'm sorry." Nish wasn't really the type to allow people close, mentally. Usually keeping them away by being a bit too amicable physically. "You're an awesome friend. Too good for this universe. " She crumbled the snow in her hand and then slid it down his neck, making sure a good chunk of snow made its way into the back of his jacket.

And that was how you got anywhere with her. Pose the unexpected and then brace for the inevitable backlash, which was either a proverbial block of ice down the back or, in this case, a literal one. Isaac gritted his teeth, having expected the betrayal, trying to confine the worst of it to his neck because slightly damp hair seemed better than slightly damp underwear. He was partially successful. Wriggling didn't help much.

But it did provide perfect cover for the swift and merciless swoop of a shoulder forward, right across the stomach to sling her over his shoulder. He was quick when he needed to be.

"You do seem a little preoccupied with our surroundings, however, so perhaps we should find you a cosy little nook somewhere. Give you a chance to really reflect on what we've spoken about."

"Wait! Stop! No!" The motion had been so fast she couldn't have stopped it if she had wanted to. As he was bouncing her on his shoulder going wherever he pleased, she wasn't so sure she would've wanted to stop him. It was juvenile, her playful scream underlined that once more, and as Starfleet professionals they should be above this type of behaviour. But it was good to be able to let loose, and nobody was here to see them or stop them anyway. She gave a token bit of resistance with flailing arms, hitting him on the back, making sure not to actually hurt him.

"Put me down!" The moment she had said it she realised she had made a big mistake.

It was a dangerous command to give a man prone to sudden bouts of obedience.

"Oh, you want down?" The trudge of Isaac's feet had already slowed considerably as the depth of the snow he was wading into reached up as far as his knees with each stride. "Here I was trying to be a gentleman and I've completely ignored the fact that you don't really have a lot of time for manners." Despite the inevitability of his intentions, Zac was still inclined as ever to make sure that no unintentional harm came to his victim. Once the drift gave way underfoot enough to lock his knees in place, he simply let himself slump forward, easing her from his shoulder in the same fluid action to gently 'whomp' into the snow on her back. "Better?"

After a moment of seeming weightlessness Nish was dumped into the snow dune, immediately sinking into the cold fluff under her. At her feet stood the man that had left her in this position, snow seeping into her coat. She shivered at the sudden change of temperatures. "Ó, hogy bassza meg egy talicska apró majom!" She cursed in her native language as when she shifted another bit of snow slid under her protective layers. She tried to get up but couldn't find purchase and all that it did was bury her deeper into the snow.

She held out a hand in the hopes that Zac would help her get up, at least that would be intention. Her intention was to pull him into the snowy hell with her.

"Why thank you, that's very kind of you to say." The intentional reinterpretation of her cursing, which he hadn't understood a word of, was about as annoying as Isaac was prepared to be, however, and it was that lenience that always invariably left him floundering in second place. It was one thing to snap her out of a mood, another to try to cheer her up, but it was cold and he didn't really feel like cutting his visit short to treat frostbite. Even as he leaned forward to grab her hand, Isaac could feel the impending approach of a terrible idea but, in all honesty, even predicting the outcome wasn't enough to make him avoid it.

The moment they grabbed each other by the wrists Nish pulled him down towards her, not giving him the opportunity to brace and try and pick her up. Once firmly pulled down into the snow next to her she grabbed a handful of the white powder right next to her and peppered his face with it, turning to sit on top of him. "That's what you get for messing with me, Zee!" She threw another handful of snow in his face, pinning him down into the white blanket, slowly pushing both of them underneath the surface of it.

"It was self-defense!" The muffled protest was immediately punctuated by the splutter of a frozen tongue's attempt to spit out ice chunks. "It still continues to be self-defense!" The flail of his arm sideways only got him one handful of retaliatory snow before a deftly-shifted knee dug into his upper arm enough to pin it, stretched outwards but impotent to capitalise on the fresh powder at its disposal. "I did not fire the first shot!"

As he yelled that back at her Nish suddenly stopped and looked down at the man she had so deftly pinned down beneath her. No longer shovelling snow onto his face. She took the quiet moment between protests and her assault to wipe away the snow that was clinging to Zac's face. "No. You didn't." She felt her stomach squeeze tighter and a goofy smile came across her features. "You never do." That's when she leaned over and put a kiss on his cold red nose. She pushed herself to her feet without pressing down on the man, even though that would've made her ascent to being upright a lot easier. Once standing she reached out a hand in his direction, offering to help him up from his position.

Isaac had started to reach a point where he felt it was best to just accept that he would never, despite all best efforts, ever find a way to predict Manishie's choices. She had a habit of staying the course for long enough to fool him, no wild deviations to toss him all the way back to the starting line. But invariably, after he'd built up what he considered a decent repertoire of anticipatory strategies, she did something as crazy as kiss him on the nose.

The nose.

It mildly bothered him that his first impulse was to be disappointed.

And then the entire situation came full circle, and her earlier assault became his ultimate saviour because it was a little impossible to appear more flustered when your pants were already full of snow and your hair was matted with the stuff, and your beanie was draped rakishly over one eye. Insisting on a beard helped with hiding certain emotional responses too, though his eyes were treacherous traitors. He stared at her for a long minute, right past her outstretched hand into the impossible blue of her eyes, and when the need to flutter flecks of snow from his lashes spoiled the moment, Isaac did the only thing a grown man in his position could do.

He fanned his arms and legs back and forth, sweeping repetitions, and carved an artistic dent into his snow pile before he departed.

Despite sharing a lot of their off time together, especially under the new circumstances, Nish never really saw Zac let loose much. Seeing him making a snow angel in the dune made her laugh, and she was glad to have a friend that was able to pull her from her dark ruminations without too much effort. "Let's warm ourselves back up." She said as she snaked an arm around his waist before walking in the direction of the guest quarters that had been assigned to them upon their arrival. "Do you think they'll have warm cocoa?"

Isaac hobbled, a mixture of a frozen backside and melted snow causing aspects of his clothing to stick to uncomfortable places. With a slight squint, he considered the question and then gave the most heartfelt response he could think of.

"I think if they don't, they're going to hear about it really soon."

 

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