Friendship Catch Up Part 1

Posted on Thu Mar 16th, 2023 @ 8:20am by Ensign Alexandra 'Lexi' O'Connery & Lieutenant JG Calanthe 'Cal' Diaz

Mission: Sojurn
Location: Relea Central Library
Timeline: Day 334 10:00
3158 words - 6.3 OF Standard Post Measure

Lexi stopped dead in the doorway as she took in place of vast knowledge and infinite possibility that was in front of her in what Benjamin had suggested that the woman was heading to when they had passed. It was a sprawling, multi-level structure that spanned what felt like several miles in every direction, rising high into the sky and plunging deep into the ocean from what she could see. The library really felt like a repository of knowledge from countless alien civilisations, each with their unique histories, cultures, and perspectives on the universe.

“Cal?” She called stepping into the room that she had been told the lieutenant was in. She was greeted by the sight of towering shelves stretching as far as the eye can see, filled with books, scrolls, and something that looked like to her imagination data crystals. They were very similar to what had been on the Caelestis.

High up on one of the perches only accessible via the single-person elevators that shunted up and down the levels, Cal leaned over the railing at the sound of her voice and raised her eyebrows at the visitor. It wasn't that Lexi's company was ever a burden, she just hadn't seen much of her best friend since shoreleave had started. Something about being engaged had left the woman understandably...occupied.

"Hey there, stranger," she called. "Don't tell me you lost him already. I can guarantee, no Gerhard here." Cal had a hard time envisaging the man spending any time willingly in a library full of alien texts he couldn't read.

“No he got recalled to the ship. Swore something about Jamesson and a Marine and disappeared off. Ben told me you would be here when I passed him.” Lexi revealed. “So can I come up?” She demanded looking around for a way up to her.

High overhead, Cal winced at the revelation that Lexi had any knowledge at all about the situation with the two men. She shouldn't have been surprised, her friend was likely privy to a great deal more information than usual now, but it still didn't bode well that Lexi had made a beeline to find her the minute she found out. If Calanthe was completely honest, she'd happily allowed her new position and Lexi's engagement to act as an excuse to avoid spending too much time with the other woman. The more she thought about it, the more guilty she felt because Lexi was her best friend, and would have counted as one even if they weren't stuck on a ship together. There had just seemed too much going on beneath the surface that wasn't completely her story to tell.

"Sure," she called down. "Just take the...elevator thing."

Lexi was sure for a moment that the woman was going to tell her no that she wanted time to herself. She was not dumb to the feeling that she was being avoided but there had been no easy way to fix it when Calanthe had been on different bridges duties to the blonde and they no longer got to spend time to get her int he communication compartment. Lexi looked at the elevator that seemed nothing more than a step that repeated over and over. She had seem similar set up in Germany but never taken one before. With a leap of faith she was soon stood on the same platform. “Hey. Benjamin said you would be here.”

"How insane is this place," Cal remarked, keeping her tone low whilst expertly side-stepping the reference to the recently-departed engineer. Having a decent head for heights, the Communications Chief peered over the edge of the railing and scanned the room for other people before pulling back to continue. "I don't even know where to begin with the amount of information they have stored here but their retrieval system is phenomenal." Dark eyes finally settled on Lexi's face and, a shade too beguiling in their innocence, fluttered several times before she adding, "After a couple of days, I think I can successfully order a coffee-substitute in Realian."

Lexi narrowed her eyes just a little more and nodded. “Good for you. I cannot claim to be anywhere near as organised.” Lexi had come down to the planet with the only thought of just conquering her fear of leaving the ship. The last time she had left she had nearly lost her life.

"Well, now that you've abandoned me to work with Hughes." Morale was more or less part of mental health services so Calanthe had understood the need for the shift, even if it was still in the transition stage, but on top of being avoided by Ben and hounded by Nate, it made it challenging to keep her tone playful. "Trying to figure out what stories we leave behind has been more challenging, honestly."

"Calanthe? Are you cross with me?" The woman decided to just come out and say it instead of beating around the bush. There was something in her tone that did not ring true and had not for a few weeks. She was starting to think that it was not in her head or her memories returning making things odd but she was starting to think there was something going on. Change in rank and positions did that sometimes she had learned but that not mean she was not going to acknowledge it.

As always, a direct appeal dragged Cal immediately out of her evasiveness. Lexi, more than almost anyone else on board, understood how easy it was to get the truth out of the brunette, who found effective lying an enormous challenge. Surprising her was almost always guaranteed to up-end the trash because, without time to construct something feasible, she floundered in a very obvious way. She wasn't floundering now. She was frowning.

"Of course I'm not." Dark eyes darted in an attempt to read the other woman's expression. "I mean, I miss the way things were but I'm not mad at you for changing positions. That'd be kind of hypocritical since I took a promotion that kicked me out of the office." The slow trickle of understanding left a stab of guilt bothering her stomach. "It's just been a lot of change all at once. I guess I haven't done a great job dealing with it."

The blonde raised an eyebrow as she decided to sit cross-legged on the floor and just stare up at the brunette trying to work out what was going on with her friend that had changed so drastically in the last couple of weeks. She was was determined to find out what it was as she she would be disappointed in herself if she could not figure it out. She was determined to get to the bottom of it before she left that day.

“No but I think there is more going on cause I am still communications. I have been helping with morale in my rest periods.” She was pulling double duties with only very little complaint as she kept thinking of the greater good.

"I know."

It sounded feeble even to Calanthe's ears. Being in charge of rostering was challenging too, she'd wound up trusting Lexi to run a lot of the alternate shifts, and in trying to accommodate her other role too, the Lieutenant could see how it might look like she'd intentionally orchestrated separation. Technically she had, just not out of any desire to avoid her friend.

For the most part. An intense desire to be honest saw Cal admit that, as much as she missed Lexi, it had made it easier to disappear into herself.

Deflating somewhat, Cal leaned back against one of the bookshelves and averted her eyes to stare at the ground. "I'm not mad at you. It's nothing to do with you. There's just..." It was rare for the brunette to struggle with words but she frowned, aware of the same confusion and reluctance that had kept her quiet so far. How did she explain something without trampling all over Ben's privacy? "The whole Smith thing created some complications," she eventually admitted. "That's all."

“What could be so complicating that you have avoided me, Calanthe?” Lexi asked levelling her with the tone that showed one day in the future she would make an excellent department head and senior officer. It was compassionate but left no scope for movement. “Because that’s what has been going on as much as you deny it. Something has happened.”

Irritation flared, a gregarious nature's best defense when slowly backed into the corner. Calanthe was feisty and, with that, came a degree of elevated passion, but it was rare for the woman to actually anger. She felt guilty enough over the drama at her expense, she hardly needed dragging over the coals by her best friend. "If you mean I haven't chased you all over the ship to make an appointment to catch up with you, then sure, I've been avoiding you." There was an edge to her tone that suggested, whilst she hadn't been mad at Lexi before, she could very much be convinced to change her mind. "But as far as I know, this is the first time you've tried to find me. It's a small ship, where was I going to go if you came and knocked on my door?"

“Excuse me I’ve knocked at your door plenty. But I also know that midnight is not the best time to catch you.” Lexi said quietly. “But I also know I have tried to catch you and you have disappeared when I have tried to talk. I am not judging but I want to help.” Lexi knew something was wrong for the woman to become suddenly defensive. “I also left you snacks in communication Center before my bridge watches so you knew I cared.” Lexi said crossly that she was being criticised.

A much younger Calanthe would have welcomed the opportunity to explode, ever inch her mother's daughter once her temper was evoked. But, much to her younger self's disgust, her first reaction to the challenge was to well up, moisture gathering against her eyelids at such an alarming rate that it almost became impossible to keep it from spilling over. She opened her mouth to respond, thought better of what she was going to say, and instead deflated to slide down the bookshelf and arriving sitting against it opposite her friend.

"The trouble is," she eventually confessed, quietly because the bite had gone entirely from her tone, "is that talking these days doesn't feel like it used to. I don't always need you to fix me, Lex, and I can't move past things if all people want to do is bring them up again."

Calanthe averted her eyes then, aware that she wasn't just talking about her friend anymore. Medical had eyes on her regarding her sleep issues after release, being on the Bridge had left her feeling like a bug under a microscope because there was no capacity to just quietly deal with a bad night whilst on duty there, and then there was Nate and Ben respectively who had found separate but related ways to drag her attention back to the unsolvable. Lexi knew better than most that Cal was a solution-based fanatic, it drove her nuts to sit aside and be rendered incapable of acting.

"There's just a lot of complicated stuff that has to work itself out." Long eyelashes fluttered to dispel some of the tears. "And it's not easy to talk about because it's... A lot of it isn't my story to tell." But, Cal knew her friend and knew this wasn't going anyway. Glancing upwards, the brunette picked a sentence that she hoped would fill in some missing pieces without requiring her to disclose any of the memories she had that weren't hers to discuss. "Ben was in a relationship with his version of me. Those dreams I told you about... Were of them. Smith dumped them in my head."

The blonde took a deep breath and nodded. A lot of things were now fitting into place now she knew that. “Well that is certainly not a plot twist I saw coming.” Lexi realised as she picked up a data core and sighed to herself. “So that explains a bit of it all. How are you dealing with it other than the obvious lack of sleep?” She wondered. It was not exactly an easy conversation to have but they were going to have to deal with it.

Cal hunched a shoulder, not entirely sure where to start with answering it. "Okay, I guess. I mean, knowing what was going on in my head was a relief, mostly, because I was worried that it was something worse." Anywhere between lasting brain damage to a piece of Smith hitching a ride inside her head. One aspect of it was still draining her but it was still just a memory. Every time she woke up from it, Cal found herself just as frustrated as she was distraught. "It's just hard to navigate. He's been avoiding me."

Here, the Lieutenant averted her eyes again, suddenly aware that there had never been a direct conversation between them over Ben; her Ben. Lexi had trodden lightly enough after his death for there to be an unspoken understanding but it had been a rough time for everyone back then and she'd never pushed. With a defeated exhale, Cal raised weary eyebrows. "And then Nate had to get himself involved somehow and suddenly they're having fist-fights in public. It's a mess, and I've been trying to give Ben space because I know he's dealing with a lot and I want him and the others to settle in and feel like they're welcome here." Dark eyes met Lexi's, brimming with apologetic tears. "There's just not many places to go when you're trying your best not to exist for a bit."

“You are an idiot. Seriously if you just communicated like a communication officer I have a quarters you could have hid in. William would not have minded me spending more time in his.” Lexi said with a roll of her eyes and patted the space next to her. She waited until the woman was sat next to her and settled before she spoke up. “Nate is a mess but he probs thought he was being your defender or something but taking him out of the equation cause he does not belong anywhere near you.” Lexi had never really saw Nate and Calanthe anything long term or anything but she knew the woman had a little bit of affection for him. “Benjamin just needs time to sort his head out.” Lexi knew that it was going to take time for all of them to get over Smith.

Once again, Cal realised her hackles had bristled. Being called an idiot, whilst certainly resembling their usual banter, felt insensitive and would normally have triggered her own concern regarding her friend's well-being but, with an entire different perspective living rent-free inside her head, it was difficult to tell what the origin of her reactions were at times. Though she ended up consenting to Lexi's insistence and shuffled over to sit next to her, any thought of disclosing her reoccurring nightmare fluttered off with her attempts to keep her temper. "Ben and I spoke some, we had breakfast together. Most of this is just going to take time." With that, she tucked the topic away, unwilling to confide further when Lexi was still prone to taking her entire attempt at coping as a personal slight. "At least this place has given me plenty to do." She cast her eyes upwards towards the rows above them. "Trying to decide what we leave behind as our piece of the puzzle has been insane."

Lexi nodded and wrapped an arm around her friend and lay her own head on her shoulder, trying to offer some comfort when words were difficult. "It looks busy." The woman agreed at the insane part she was kind of relieved that it was not her job nor had she been grabbed to assist in it all. She had been trying to organise trips and events so people got the best of everything to cheer everyone up. "What about Earth Starfleet and the origins and mission behind it? It seems like it could be similar to what they have here. We are just a few hundred years behind."

"We have started with the ship itself," Cal agreed, eyes still scanning the rows overhead even as her cheek came to rest atop her friend's head. "And its origins, and the story behind it being so far from home. I guess we'll just have to see how deep we dive by the time we're ready to leave. Saloosh is easy to talk to at least, he seems to have some sort of plan for the information he wants to record, even if I can't quite figure out exactly what it is yet."

"I can stay and help if you like? Or we can go grab some lunch?" Lexi offered to want to try and stay there and offer some type of support if she could.

"This part of the day is usually just me aimlessly trying to absorb information. They've been really accommodating, I don't think any of them have got tired of me trying to badly pronounce things yet." Cal thought through other options before continuing. "I only finished up with breakfast not long ago but apparently there's something like an ice skating rink more in that direction," she gestured vaguely with her hand, "I really want to try some of their slope sports too, see if it's anything close to skiing, but I think I'm going to need to work up more energy for that." She turned and planted a kiss into her friend's hair, a gesture of forgiveness and apology all rolled into one. "Ice skating though. We could go check it out and then force everyone to join us once we're already experts at it."

"That sounds like a fun idea." Lexi could not claim to be an expert in skating but she had often gone to the ice rink in Bristol and she watched the ice hockey team when she had been home from university. "I will happily force everyone once we are good." Something like that could definitely be a mood-boosting activity from showing off to laughing with people when they eventually fall over.

Buoyed as always by fresh inspiration, Cal unsettled their comfortable repose to clamber to her feet, an outstretched hand immediately offering to help Lexi up off the ground. "Good." She grinned. "It's about time they had to deal with fresh proof that they've got nothing against us when we put our heads together."