Safe to Approach Part 2

Posted on Tue Apr 4th, 2023 @ 1:29pm by Warrant Officer Iryna Voznyuk & Staff Sergeant Nathanial "Nate" Cusack

Mission: Sojurn
Location: MACO Barrack
Timeline: Day 334
6387 words - 12.8 OF Standard Post Measure

Iryna led the pair back into the main area of the MACO’s barracks and looked around. With so few of them now the berthing areas that were usually outfitted with bunk beds or racks that could accommodate multiple MACO’S, as space was often limited on ships were now separated into individual rooms or people bunked together if they really wanted to. The recreation room was usually quiet with everyone down below so the big screen was off and the space was clean and tidy. It was not at all the lively space it had been one year before when they had started the journey to the Xindi home world looking for peace.

“Home…” She announced dumping her laundry piled just inside her room. The silence between them was not strained but it was awkward enough that Iryna stopped and just watched the man quietly setting about to do his own thing. What was it about him that was making her want something more?

Had he still been in the mood she'd found him in, Nate would have likely corrected her on the use of the term 'home' in regards to anything the Atlantis represented. As a technicality, it couldn't be argued with, but a great deal of his current problems stemmed from the fact that Nate couldn't find anything about his situation that felt satisfying or fulfilling. The expected integration into the Armoury had only heightened his sense of disillusionment and, having been left to his own devices, Nate had only dwelt with brooding insistence on his own sense of utter uselessness; his father's prophesy come to fruition.

Irnya was poised to challenge that, had given him a prospect that he hadn't expected and, as such, had made an actual argument for remaining on board rather than seeking a more permanent solution surrounded by snow. Nate also doubted that he'd be welcome now, had probably destroyed that possibility the moment he'd lashed out and given the locals cause to question his self-control. There was still enough uncertainty, however, the ongoing hesitancy and the long-term possibility of once-again being deemed not-relationship-material to make him wary of trusting a fledgling attraction with the bulk of his contentment. If Nate was honest, there hadn't been many places that had felt like 'home' in his lifetime but at least he'd always had the option to escape.

Now, as he sank into one of the couches and waited for her, unaware that he was being silently watched, the marine's agitation made itself known in the scrub of a hand against his face and up into his hair to knead at the base of his skull, a prime location for tension headache and likely a huge contributor to his current mood. The jitter of his leg became a repetition that replaced the urge to pace, and eventually he allowed his head to drop back against the cushions as his hand dropped to rest against his thigh. It was much the same way he'd spent the previous day, in between work assignments, when he'd found himself with nothing to do other than stare at the walls and hope he resisted the urge to punch a hole in one.

The warrant officer leant against the bulkhead and just watched him and the tension that surrounded him. Neither of them was perfect that was for sure between her aloofness and his tension but there had not been anyone else onboard who had even tempted her the way that he had. He was impossible and she was pretty sure that somewhere along the time the rational for the attraction would come out but she could see so much potential in him and them if they could just get it right. "Are you okay?" She finally asked from where she stood holding a hoodie and contemplating putting on trousers instead of just the shorts she wore.

"You ask that a lot." It was a dry response, not exactly hostile but voiced with an air of pragmatic objection. What even was 'okay' at this point? He'd stopped punching people, if that counted. Without turning around, or even opening his eyes, Nate stretched his neck back against the seat and then eased it slowly to one side in an attempt to get it to pop. "What would it look like if I was okay? Or, spin that around, what would you expect of me if I wasn't? I don't know how to answer that, Iryna." This time, his tone was laden with resignation. "I don't know that there's much good in an honest response."

Iryna slowly pushed herself from the wall and approached. She flopped down next to him and lent out and touched his neck. "I do not think I have ever seen you good. But I want to help..." She said gently trying to weather the storm that was his and her own emotions. It was complicated, they were redundant as MACO's but she at least was giving an opportunity to have something more to her role, he had not that the same purpose she supposed at the moment.

"Makes you a lone voice amongst the choir." It was telling, perhaps, that Cusack sounded more defeated than angry. Even confined to the ship, with so many of the crew released for shoreleave, there was time for him to sit around on a couch and stare at walls. Nate suspected that had a lot to do with a lack of actual preparation for what the marines were meant to be doing now that they weren't allowed to consider themselves marines anymore. Another point in his career where nobody had the decency to actually consult him on decisions before he got left to deal with the ramifications. Opening his eyes, he cast his gaze sideways and tiredly arched his eyebrows. "Any bright ideas?"

“One voice is all you need.” The woman told him firmly pressing on the spot that she suspected was hurting. “Oh plenty of ideas to be honest but none of them bright. So let’s start with what skills does Nate have outside of being a good shot?” She wondered. She could access his file and she would for the other MACOs to work out where else they could help within the ship but he deserve her having a conversation as she brought it up.

"Depends who you ask. Thankfully, nobody who'd bother responding with anything is within earshot." A scoff of joyless humour eventually gave way to a sigh, a partial reaction to her attempt to ease his physical discomfort but also an attempt not to take his lack of motivation out on her. "There's at least two engineers here who'll probably tell you not to let me near anything that's important. One of them's probably just shitty I nearly broke his nose, the other..." Nate screwed his face into a wince. "Maybe console repairs isn't my forte."

"Da... I heard about you trying to fix the shower and the console. Neither were successful." She teased stopping trying to help with his neck turning to lean her head against the wall and watch him. "What about medical? I bet you could be a good nurse... Daglish would not fall for your charms either so no chance you'd get away with anything." She offered thinking of places where people were needed. "Or... gardening? cooking?" It was also a way to get to know him below the surface better.

Her options at least dragged a faint glimmer of amusement from the man. "Was my maybe-shrimp concoction not evidence enough of skill?" Nate wasn't terrible when it came to food preparation but lacked the sort of in depth understanding of the food science behind it to be all that inventive with their bland foundation. "Gardening outside on an open field might keep me out of mischief. I think if you lock me in Hydroponics with the mice, you might end up with a barrage of crew complaints. Not enough shrinks on board."

“Was not that bad… still went to bed on a full tummy.” She pointed out.

Stretching his arm along the back of the seat, Nate lapsed into tense silence for a moment, not as quick to dismiss her other idea. It took time to wrestle with the urge to brush it off, since speaking his mind involved a level of confiding he wasn't used to trusting people with. "Nearly went pre-med," he eventually confessed, combating the discomfort of disclosure by making the explanation brief. "Didn't end up with the score for it."

Which was an incomplete explanation of the shit that had gone down once his father had caught wind of his youngest son's intent on pursuing a life beyond the battlefield. The not on my watch or on my dime angle had only added to Nate's determination but being forced to hold down several jobs to pay for the incumbent move had wrecked havoc on his study schedule and, in typical Nate-style, he had completely botched the entrance exam by oversleeping and turning up partially hungover after an altercation with his father the previous night had seen him all-but capitulate to the man's estimation of his prospects. In yet another of an increasing collection of self-fulfilling prophesies, Nate had missed out on making the grade despite his condition by only a few points and had shipped himself back for boot camp with his tail between his legs.

It had been an interesting year of his life, however, distanced from home and fending for himself. He'd learned to work bars because it was the best evening work he could pick up, and had filled in the hours around classes and study with a smattering of other jobs that had broadened his skillset in ways the military wasn't likely to. Nate didn't like to think too much about it all, the sour note that it ended on tended to warp his entire appreciation of the freedom and growth he'd enjoyed, but as his fingertips drummed against the back of the cushion, he found it not quite so objectionable to at least let Iryna, if nobody else, in on little snippets.

"Worked for a barber once." He offered her a half-smirk. "Should have probably stuck with it, I wasn't bad at it." It explained, somewhat, how he managed his own upkeep so far removed from any professional intervention. Only once had Nate been tempted to just let his beard grow out since they'd wound up in their predicament and that had been during a particular cold spell where the temperature in the barracks had refused to cooperate.

The woman smiled a little more. “Got a barber shop unused.” She laughed going along with what he said for moment before she rolled her eyes. It was three steps forward and one back with him it felt as she tried to think on best to unpack what he had said. “Hydroponics could always use bell now that it’s got more people and ability to do stuff but medical, I think you could shine, Nate. Is there any harm in asking for a couple of shifts there a week?” She wondered, trying to get him see that there was more to life.

Any harm could mean a lot of things. Ironically, Sickbay was the one area where taking the concept literally could throw up any number of scenarios where his presence there could turn out to be a terrible idea. Beyond that, failure stung, and Nate was not just a Cusack by name for all he had constantly proven not to fit the family mould properly. Pride tended to be his greatest downfall and submitting himself to a life in isolation, pursuing something he'd already failed at once, raised the hackles on the back of his neck. "Scrubbing down biobeds and counting bandages, that's my best prospect, huh?" A twinge of something he didn't feel often, a tentative spark of interest, battled to survive amidst the far stronger gusts of cynicism already determining that he wouldn't be wanted anyway.

“It’s a start to something more. Rome was not built in a day, Nate.” She said using the phrase she had seen other native standard speakers use in situations like this. it was a start to something more which was what he needed. “Just like me and you.” She reminder leaning over to touch his cheek from where her hand had paused with trying to help with his neck.

He eyed her for a moment, clearly trying to decide between amusement and further protest. "You do know Rome crashed and burned in the end, right?" A certain glint in his eye was the return of boyish mischief, a good sign as long as the repercussions of rousing his playful side weren't worse than dealing with his morose defeatism. "Which, admittedly, is the way most of my relationships turn out." Reaching across, he caught a lock of hair and moved to tuck it behind her ear. His voice dropped to something a shade gentler, a tone most tended to think him incapable of. "Kind of tired of it though, if I'm honest."

The woman could see that she might be getting through to him which was a good sign to her that he was no longer in free fall of his emotions. “Very much but it set in stone what we all have now in many ways.” She was not a student of history but without the Romans a lot of things would not have happened. “Good.” Was all she said as she leant forward and kissed him.

And for once, Nate's certainty wobbled a little. Not because he was any more convinced that becoming a nurse would solve much, though the idea would eventually benefit from her continued support once it became blatantly obvious that he wasn't being much use hitching a free ride as a long-range specialist. It was more her constant ability to surprise him, or confuse him, or a subtle mixture of both. As he sat there and let her kiss him, submissive for once because it seemed like the best way to handle the sudden public display of affection, Nate realised he still had no idea what her boundaries actually were. It seemed, and he'd probably get smacked for saying so, that she invented new ones every few minutes.

Eventually, impatience got the better of him. If ever there was a fitting epitaph, that was it. A slight lean towards her gave him leverage enough to pull her across his lap until he held her, cradled as a mother might a small child, so that he could press his forehead to hers. "Fraternizing in public, Warrant Officer? What happened to Nate Cusack; Dirty Little Secret?"

When the kiss ended and she was teased that she realised that she had made a mistake. “No one is here.” She whispered blushing slightly. She glanced around at the bare walls and empty space before leaning her head back against his. “But you are right I should have not done that quite so out in the open of an empty rec room.” She did not regret it though. “I… come to be room?” She offered.

He smiled, deep enough to activate a hint of a dimple, and whilst it was somewhat at her expense, it wasn't a gloat. "I'm not complaining," he reassured. "Just trying to play by the rules." He let her go, a hand against the small of her back a gentle assistance in regaining her feet, and then he allowed himself to be dragged upwards by the hand. "Which is a little challenging when someone keeps making and breaking them." Risking an elbow to sensitive places, Nate snatched a moment's opportunity to grasp her by the shoulders and pressed his nose into her hair as he leaned down from behind to murmur, "You don't have to invite me anywhere you're not comfortable with."

“That was my fault. I broke the rules.” She whispered as he stopped her in her path. “Maybe you are just irresistible instead of irritating.” She teased looking up at him showing her snark was still under the surface just tempered a little. “I am comfortable. We shared a bed last night remember until Gerhard contacted.”

"Oh, I remember. That was just..." Nate waved his hand vaguely, pausing a moment longer to rub the other hand against her upper arm before extracting himself to a safer distance to follow. "Somewhere else. It's a bit different to the only piece of privacy we have here." One thing about thinning numbers was they'd all ended up with their own berth. Nate had no qualms about her invading his space, he wasn't all that attached to it and honestly found the solitude eerie now that his previous bunkmate was dead. Seniority had gifted Voznyuk her own quarters much earlier, it wasn't lost on Nate that he'd spent a lot of time actively trying to avoid going near it.

“Well I know for a fact you have bunk beds whilst I do not.” She told him with a shrug. She invited him because she wanted to but she could understand that it could go against taking things slow. “But I understand, Nate.”

"Oh, no, you're not getting away with backing out now." An arm around her waist brought him alongside, an insistent tug in the direction of once-treacherous territory. "I'm going to lie on your bed and you can paint my toenails or whatever it is you girls do behind closed doors."

Iryna smiled and opened the lock letting him inside. It was a small space but had a bigger bed than the bunks but it was pretty bare despite living there for over a year. “I am not sure I have ever be one of the girls.” She admitted.

True to his promise, Nate made a beeline for the bed and fell backwards onto it, arms sprawled. "Having dated plenty who likely considered themselves the pick of that particular crop, I can safely say I don't think you're missing out on much." It went back before his time on board, since Nate couldn't in all conscience lump Calanthe in with the harpies he'd settled on previously. An assortment of very attractive, high-maintenance, manipulative, vindictive velociraptors. Mostly. It was easier to remember them that way anyway.

The woman smiled and locked the hatch behind them and turning the lighting up just a bit. “I do not think MACO or Earth Starfleet officers come under that in the slightest.” The woman decided, having a very interesting image of the type of women he used to date. “Ah now I can see where this is going. Just after the big bed.” She grinned crawling onto the bed to find a space.

"And the increased ration allowance." His willingness to play along was at least evidence of a slightly improved mood, or at least an agreement to bury his restlessness for another time. Nate stretched out an arm, a cad's guarantee that she'd have to accept the spot next to him or risk falling on the floor, and then grinned as he rolled her towards his side to settle. They hadn't delved much into this caginess she kept demonstrating, only a vague allusion towards previous relationship issues, but he'd never known her to be shy and wasn't inclined to let her get away with it now. "There is more food the further up the ladder you get, right?"

“No…” she laughed settling against his side despite the momentum nearly sending her over him. “We all get the same.” She assured relaxing against him. “Though I would do a lot for something like a steak or chicken burger right now.”

"Maybe when I'm done doing-time we can find somewhere on the planet that knows how to interpret the weird culinary demands of a couple of Earthlings." Nate missed being able to grill, it was definitely the side of cooking that he was most successful at. The mention of the need for a delay sobered him somewhat, though he thought better of questioning whether lying around on her bed was going to pass Gerhard's expectations for a reasonable consequence.

“Sounds good to me.” Maybe something as simple as that would help elevate the mood even more than the action plan to turn him into a medic had. Slowly she rolled over so she was half lying on him rest her chin on her chest. “Can I ask you something?” She wondered finally wanting to ask something that had been bothering her since the pod dancing.

Nate raised his eyebrows. "Uh oh."

“What made you stop and consider me?” It was a simple question.

The furrow of his brow was not so much a frown of consternation as it was puzzlement. If he thought about it, there was something about Voznyuk at this range that didn't align very specifically with the ball-buster who'd been on his back since she'd inherited responsibility for the unit. He never would have pegged her for having a self-confidence problem but, Nate supposed, nobody ever really stopped to consider whether he felt as cock-sure as he sounded either. "Point of clarification first; when are we talking about?"

“That night when we danced? That’s what started all of this right?” She wondered wiggling just a little to get more comfortable trying to not elbow or poke him too much when it was vulnerable.

To his credit, Nate seemed to take a moment to properly consider his response, which involved a degree of soul-searching and a flirtation with admissions that sounded less than admirable. That being said, he was currently under house arrest for punching a crewmate out of impulsive outrage so perhaps it wasn't much of a secret that his mental health had tanked over the past couple of months. At some point in his contemplation, his fingertips had occupied themselves with a slow tracing up and down her arm. It seemed, for the most part, a subconscious caress, possibly aimed as much at soothing him as it was likely to placate her.

"I guess," he conceded quietly after long pause, "I'd just seen that look before. Soldiers dug in so deep that there's no way out, forced to watch the bodies drop around them. We've all lost people before, some of them on this mission, but Smith was something else." Nate's brow knitted, a deep furrow as he tried to dredge up what had been honestly an impulsive reaction to a sense of empathy he didn't always have direct access to. Not to verbalise. "It wasn't your plan to get drunk. Classic coping strategy," he teased, eyes finding hers. "More that you were being so open about it, stuck there in the darkness like you didn't care who found you. I've seen self-destruction before." He reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear. "Stares back at me enough from the mirror for me to distrust the bastard when it shows up elsewhere. I just...figured the night wouldn't end up all that well if it went in the direction you were steering it."

“You just did not want me to seduce an engineer and get more booze.” She said grinning remembering what her plan had been once the booze she had ran out. “So what you are trying to say is you felt sorry for me and my pity party.” Her grin lasted a moment before she sobered. “Thank you for trying to pull me out to the darkness.” She knew she did not need to say it but she had seen the shift in him that night.

"Given my current standing with engineers on board, can you blame me?" Oddly enough, if he tried to think back that far, there had been an odd sense of protectiveness that could have been construed as veering towards a possessive reluctance to let her 'outsource' but nothing in Nate's jumbled up sense of gallantry had triggered coherency in his moral compass. He tended to act and think about why afterwards, which was probably the root cause of most of his problems. "And I think I felt sorry for all of us. I might be a dick," he smiled, a little lopsided, "But I'd like to think I'd put up a good fight if someone needed me to. Of course," he added, a little more jovially and with the kind of zest that suggested he expected to get whacked at any minute, "There was also the absolute fascination with what drunk Voznyuk would actually get up to. At one point, I thought you were going to sleep inside that supply closet."

“Would not have been the first time.” The woman commented her fingers straying up his side attack and tickle him if he carried on. “One engineer. I am sure the rest like you.” Jamesson was not the only engineer and if she was honest she had not seen him talk to many people so likelihood it was just him who did not like him as McManus liked the MACOs. “McManus likes you. Or at least doesn’t unlike you enough to not work with us on the booze.” She reminded with a grin still just lying there saying up at him.

"I'm not sure the one that had to undo my handiwork on the console repairs will be that eager to hang out with me again." Nate felt momentarily bad that he couldn't remember the woman's name, and would have felt marginally worse had he been in any way aware that they didn't identify as a woman. "But what you're really saying," he narrowed his eyes playfully, "Is that I have to beat up McManus before he proves to be the more appealing prospect." In light of everything, it wasn't the most sensitive of jokes but Nate didn't appear particularly serious about any future bouts of jealousy.

“Completely.” She assured seeing that he meant it as a joke even if it was quite a poor joke seeing why he was under house arrest. “Never given a man a reason to be jealous, Nate. Not a game I play I promise.” She said slowly pushing herself off of him.

There was something about Nate's expression that hinted at a wince, though he watched her keenly for a moment before reaching up to slip a hand underneath his head. It seemed the easiest way to control it. "Younger Nate wasn't always the best catch," he confessed, an unnecessary admission given how far they were away from anyone who could corroborate it. Still, it seemed pointless to deny that his track record wasn't a veritable showcase of how temperamental he was. Had been. There was no proof of change, unless punching another man to preserve an ex-lover's honour somehow counted. Perhaps Nate's greatest defense lie with purely observable behaviour; outside Diaz, his flirtations on board had not seen a lot of follow-through. "I guess there's always the point that nobody else would want me." He grinned, reaching up to allow his other hand to join the first.

“Ah huh.” The woman agreed with an over enthusiastic nodded. The woman leant down and attacked his arm with tickling. She was fully aware that she was starting a war but the comment deserved it. It had been a long time coming since he had first laid down.

"Point of protest!" Though not especially ticklish, the rapid flurry of poking fingers was abrupt enough to curl Nate to one side, a futile attempt at escape that would have at least placed his back to her were she not partially squashing him and preventing him from getting very far. "Unprovoked attack, you're risking the entire ceasefire." A large hand wrapped itself around one of hers. "You're setting a dangerous precedence, you know."

“Fully aware.” She assured as her free hand carried on attacking before her other was captured. She stayed there laughing and breathless.

He'd sparred with her enough to know that she could hold her own. That being said, he'd also sparred with her enough to know the best way around her defenses, and whilst this might have seemed like a questionable time to take advantage of combat knowledge, Nate took some refuge in the fact that she had started it. It took several snatched attempts and, he suspected, a fair degree of permission on her part, but he eventually looped both her wrists with his fingers and squirmed himself upwards to a half-seated position that allowed him to pin her, arms folded across herself, against his chest facing away from him. Having wrestled her into his lap, Nate held firm and dug his chin into her shoulder to inquired, "Now what?"

“I do not know. I’m making half this up as I go along.” She breathed softly admitting what she had been holding close to her chest, keeping from him.

"Yeeeah." The word was soft in her ear. "I kinda figured." It wasn't a complaint, though Nate felt plenty wary enough of the instability surrounding where the line in the sand was. It had been blatantly clear that, whilst he'd put Iryna in charge of marking it, she was conflicted over where it needed to start and end and Nate wasn't all that sure he could be more use in that department than he'd already tried to be. Mixed messages gave him a headache. Easing back against the headboard, he drew his legs up so that his knees were bent and allowed her to settle between them, leaning against him. "You know, it might help if you actually articulated what you're worried about." He leaned outwards a little in an attempt to peer at her face. "How many times do I have to avoid sleeping with you before you stop worrying that it's all I want?"

The woman wiggled until she was comfortable just sat there in the familiar bare room thinking about it all trying to work it all into something that could be useful in making him understand where her mind was. “I have been used my whole adult life and being out here for all the crap that has gone on has stopped that and I guess I worry that it will start again and it’s not you I would feel like this towards anyone.” She sighed and glanced at the wall.

It was not, Nate was the first to admit, his area of expertise. Mind games were rife in the services, he had an inkling of the type of men she'd encountered and could hardly fault her unwillingness to perpetuate the cycle. Was he any different? Nate didn't think he was any kind of white knight but it had never really been his style to offer things he wasn't prepared to follow through with. More apt was his reputation for fleeting, physical encounters of very little substance and, even then, he didn't think he had a habit of promising more. The handful of times he'd submitted to an actual relationship, he'd mostly attempted to make them work. Somewhat. It wasn't a particularly glowing track record, however, which made assuaging her concerns now all the more complicated.

But he felt different, in a way that was entirely nothing to do with her because it extended well beyond them and owed its roots to the early days of being lost so far from home. Diaz had caught him by surprise, an actual intelligent woman who had his measure entirely and dealt with life in such an uncompromisingly straight line that there'd been virtually no room for mind games. And though, at their core, they had turned out to be too different to make it work, the combination of that experience and the confinement to a single community that was slowly forcing him to make connections and settle down had given Nate a taste of something altogether more appealing than casual dalliances. Quite aside from anything else, in a situation such as theirs, he was going to run out of casual flings very quickly and then what?

"So, we both suck at relationships," he eventually summarised, offering a soft huff of laughter to soften the impact. Tucking her head under his chin, Nate leaned his head back and gazed up at the ceiling, the arm around her waist holding her whilst his free hand scratched its nails lightly along her forearm. "How do we fix that then?"

“Slowly? Quickly? I am not sure. I cannot claim to have knowledge on how to do this to be fair.” It was not something she could claim to know how to attempt now that she was being honest with him. “But I like the person I am when I am with you.” She admitted hoping that he understood what she was trying to say. She knew she was hopeless at this, was used to being used and abused but out there lost in space it was impossible to be like that. She needed to work out something more stable for herself.

He didn't have a response for that. Though he was a dab hand at brooding, being stumped for something to say was not a Nate Cusack trait typically. It was, in all honesty, probably the most complimentary thing anyone had ever said to him and that alone left Nate immediately uncomfortable. It wasn't an unpleasant sensation but he instinctively felt like it warranted a better response than his usual glib deflection. Speaking from the heart had never been something he'd been taught, it certainly hadn't been valued in his family and the closest he normally got were angry outbursts. For the longest time, the only way the pair of them had ever communicated was in witty barbs, the perpetual back-and-forth of two exceptionally stubborn people. This level of honesty, coupled with the vulnerability, was completely outside Nate's well-rehearsed experience.

"She's definitely worth being around," he eventually settled on, somewhere close to the same level of intimacy without necessarily having a handle on his own thoughts within the space. "What do you think it would take to break her heart? Maybe I can put up a shitload of warning signs to keep me from wandering that direction."

“Cheating? Lying?” She offered finally when she finally heard him speaking. Her words had surprised him she knew that from the sudden silence but she had to tell him now it was out there. It was a can of worms that had been opened and it would be messy to try and close it now.

"You know I never cheated on anyone." It was said as a point of conversation, perhaps a surprising one, but without any of the defensiveness that might have been expected. "I mean, you need to be in a relationship for that to happen so perhaps that's part of the reason, and there were a few in early days of Nate Cusack outgrowing his skinny, awkward stage that decided to get jealous anyway, but never could see the point in pretending to be exclusive if you had no intention of honouring it. I slept around," he admitted, "But I never cheated on anyone."

“Good.” That was something at least that he was telling her what she already suspected.

"As for lying..." Nate screwed up his nose. "Probably depends. I'm not exactly known for keeping my opinion to myself. Is it a blanket rule or more of a guideline?" He leaned to the side again, a faint smile tugging his lips towards one side as he tried to catch the expression on her face. "There's a certain amount of self-preservation that comes with answering some questions tactfully. Not that you don't always look stunning and immaculate and nothing like an exceptionally hot mess."

“Guideline.” She said turning to look at him trying to catch her expression and smiled. “You can self preserve.” She laughed. It was lightening to feel that it all has lifted from her.

Laughter was good, certainly better than the slap he'd anticipated. Emboldened, Nate leaned towards her, pressed his forehead to her temple and murmured, "So, no cheating, no lying, no punching engineers. It's starting to sound like you're asking me to go out with you, sir." It was an unnecessary tease, almost everything that had been insinuated so far had leaned towards a relationship over a casual fling, but Nate himself wasn't without trepidation when it came to misinterpreting things. Wanting to go slow had been a significant indicator but he was a man who dealt better with black and white; he tended to blur shades of grey into a murky mess.

A tiny kiss pressed just below her ear pushed the boundaries without breaking them. "You might want to make sure you try the entire package out first," he murmured, nose nudged against her ear. "But you can take it off the shelf for now." It was an offer, phrased ridiculously but it was the best way Nate could land on an expression of willingness. If she wanted something that tried to be significant, he'd already proven he'd moved into a stage of his life where that actually had some appeal.

“I guess I will have to.” She said hoping it did not sound like a threat more a simple agreement to his offer. “But yeah I don’t want to keep doing the casual thing and get used and abused by men who wanted one thing." It was no life and she had nothing but her life to live now.

"Well, since we're on the subject, I think I've had my fill of psychotic narcissists too. How about you agree not to throw a dinner plate at my head and I'll..." He drew in a slow breath before exhaling, turning her around to face him. "Try to be worth your time."

It brought up so many questions that Iryna did not want to venture in. “More likely to shoot you.” She responded kissing him softly as they were facing the correct way and looking at each other. “You are doing well so far.”

It earned her a grin, genuine but not quite enough to chase the intensity from his eyes. "First time for everything."