Critical Overload

Posted on Sat May 11th, 2024 @ 12:03am by Ensign Madelyn 'Madi' Moore & Ensign Mercy Mourne

Mission: Contagion
Location: Hydroponics Lab
Timeline: Day 367
4817 words - 9.6 OF Standard Post Measure

Mercy paused outside the door to the Hydroponics Lab, glanced down at her PADD before she tucked it under her arm. She then opened the door and stepped inside, looking around the incongruously green space. In truth is was no hardship at all to find an excuse to visit the plant oasis, she found it all rather fascinating, and there was always something soothing about the environment. "Uhm... Ensign Moore? Are you in here?" Mercy peered through the plants she tried to spot the tiny operator, it was strange to have not seen her in passing for a few days. Mercy hoped everything was alright, everyone had a down day now and again. "It's Mercy. I mean it's Ensign Mourne." She called out. She was so busy looking for Madi that she nearly bumped into a plant rack, but managed to catch herself before she brought the rack down. "Shii-oot. Oops sorry! No damage done!" Sometimes, she thought to herself, it was a miracle she dressed herself.

One of the nicest things about working in hydroponics, Madelyn had long ago decided, was that it was the last place anyone ever wanted to just hang out in. Something about the rows upon rows of vegetables all tucked away inside their peaty beds tended to act as a social deterrent, and despite the fact that growing food had become a very real focus once the longevity of their situation had sunk in, most of the crew were content to reap the benefits once the produce reached the messhall and left the dirty work to those who'd drawn the short straw. It could make for some pretty quiet, mundane duty shifts, but it also made it an absolute sanctuary when a person was far too embarrassed to place herself in a position of figuring out whether she needed to be embarrassed in the first place. Mortification had quite a firm grip, as it turned out; she'd been dreading Finn's arrival for the past hour.

All this meant was, when a summons did arise, Madelyn wasn't prepared for it. Not only did that leave her a little too distracted to notice anything at first, but the oversized ear protection had muffled any warning beyond the initial query and it took the precarious wobble of the plant rack right next to the one she was working on for the distracted Ensign to notice anything was amiss. When her head poked around, she seemed utterly unprepared for company, her large brown eyes additionally magnified behind goggles as the spray bottle in her hand was awkwardly grasped by fingers grappling with gloves several sizes too big. Madi stared, stunned into silence for a moment, before reaching up to set the goggles atop her head.

"Uh...hi."

"Oh Ensign Moore, there you are! Sorry to disturb you, have you got a moment to go over something? Lieutenant Darru suggested you might be able to help with something?" When Mercy saw Maddi was wearing ear protection she pitched her voice a little louder than she would normally. She also took a careful step back from the plants so she couldn't damage anything with her clumsiness, she kept her hands occupied by grabbing the PADD she had tucked under her arm and fiddling with it. "I can come back later if you are busy?"

Ordinarily, a visit from Mourne would have been just cause for a slight relaxation. Not that Madi found the other woman particularly easy to hold a conversation with, the pair of them tended to orbit around each other without either having quite the right impetus to instigate an actual collision course, but Mercy was harmless and, more to the point, probably clueless. She didn't seem the type to encounter much scuttlebutt in any case, which presented an opportunity for welcome ignorance. Madelyn was still wary, however, mostly because sentences that started with 'Lieutenant Darru suggested' seemed oddly suspicious given recent concerns that the man had forgotten she existed at all.

"No, it's fine." A desire to keep things on an even keel overrode any lingering suspicion and Madelyn took off the earmuffs, hanging them around her neck as she struggled to remove the gloves. "I was just..." A flash of guilt crossed her features before Madi confessed, "...experimenting with the growth promoter the Realians gave us."

Mercy gave the woman a brief and inscrutable look, but decided whatever was weighing on the other Ensign was really none of her business. People either shared their troubles or not and Mercy was not in the habit of making people uncomfortable by prying. Instead she just smiled politely and nodded. "Oh really? Have you found anything interesting so far? If you wanted any data or samples logged I would be happy to help. In fact, if you did let me help it would make me feel better about what I am about to ask." She offered the PADD to Moore.

"I noticed recently the research lab computers were not performing as intended. Nothing major, just a little slower to find information when I was cross referencing some results. They weren't designed to be used indefinitely without offloading information stored on them you see. I spoke to Lieutenant Darru, who was kind enough to listen to my rambling long enough to suggest we should work on some sort of storage solution. He estimates we have about six months before it becomes a real problem. In the meantime I have proposed some categories for data based on how useful they are to our current situation. 1 being of immediate help, 2 being currently worked through and 3 is no immediate use." She indicated the PADD, then rubbed the back of her neck, clearly vaguely uncomfortable to be asking for help.

"The more detailed definitions for the categories are on there, as well as a few examples to act as a bit of a guide. The long term plan would be to offload category 3 data sets onto some sort of external storage device I think? Trouble is before we can consider that, we have about a years worth of data to sift through and re-categorise." Mercy winces a little, knowing it would be a supremely boring task for most people. She had always found a sense of serenity and control in neatly categorised flows of information, but she was, as her brother would say, a loser nerd-face.

"Lieutenant Darru suggested you might be able to help? I hate to draw you away from Hydroponics, but I must admit, the thought of trying to tackle everything by myself makes my heart sink. But you don't have to say yes, I can always come up with another plan for the Lieutenant if you don't want to help?"

On the plus side, it was nothing like the conversation Madelyn had been dreading once she was finally forced to deal with people. In every other way, however, she was struggling to keep up with the evolving premise, let alone figuring out why the senior officer had suggested her as a viable assistant. Had Duncan spoken to Darru? The prospect left Moore frozen in an expression that might normally have indicated some sort of stomach complaint, but it wasn't in her nature to turn people away, even if they were asking things of her that sounded an awful lot like sorting stray socks at her grandmother's house over summer break.

"I don't mind helping," she lied, though it was very quickly occurring to Madi that being stuck in the midst of a mundane task would invariably involve hiding away where nobody would think to look for her. Staring down at the PADD in her hand, she blinked several times before asking, "Where do we start though?"

“You really don’t mind? Actually don’t answer that, you said yes, and I’m desperate enough to take you up on it, whether you meant it or not.” Mercy gave Madi a knowing smile and before rubbing her neck. When she tilted her head to one side it actually clicked a little and she winced. Maybe she should go and speak to sickbay and see if they could help like Kip suggested?

“Well that’s a good question. I was inclined to sift through from Day 1 and work chronologically, that way we will be able to cross days off and have some measure of what we have done and what still needs doing. Unless you had a better idea? It is going to mean a lot of time huddled away, bent over a computer, which I know isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but since you already said you’ll help, I promise I will bring you snacks and… well cups of tea.” She gave Madi a small chuckle.

“Really though, thank you. I’ll s-speak to Darru and propose new data is input under these categories so our job doesn’t keep growing.” Mercy stuttered slightly realising she would have to go to her CO again, anxiety lessened by her previous experience but not completely gone. “You’re welcome to come and sit with me in the secondary science lab. It’s quiet, and out of the way compared to the other labs so we won’t be bothered too much. Unless there is somewhere else you would rather work?”

"Uh, no. That sounds fine." Still bewildered, Madi finally wrangled herself free of her second glove and glanced around quickly before shoving them onto a bottom shelf, along with her earmuffs, goggles and the spray bottle she'd been using. "When were you hoping to start?" Hesitation lingered before the frazzled scientist added, "Only I should probably get something to eat if we're about to disappear into a void." She'd overslept, which had meant the messhall was far too busy to contemplate by the time she'd left for duty. Perhaps it had been for the best, since arriving with Mercy in tow sounded a lot less awkward than sitting there alone waiting for someone to ask her about turbolift singing competitions at stupid o'clock. "You want anything?"

Mercy tilted her head, taking in Madi for a moment before she waved her hand. "Oh it can wait until tomorrow. That way I'm not interrupting any work you need to finish today. Maybe we start with a couple of hours a day for the next week or so and see how far we get? Will help me estimate how long the entire project might take that way too. Plus hydroponics are important and I don't want to draw you away from your baby." She gestures around the room. "Plus you are doing me a massive favour, so I don't want to be too demanding." Mercy gave her an apologetic smile which became more genuine when Madi offered an invitation to the messhall. "Actually, a cup of tea would be very welcome." She then gestured for Madi to lead the way.

As someone fairly renown for wearing her heart on her sleeve, Madelyn wasn't likely to win any acting awards for her attempt to peer into the corridor and check for oncoming traffic without appearing overly furtive. For whatever reason it mattered, the coast was clear and the Ensign moved away from the confines of Hydroponics to make a beeline directly for the nearest turbolift. Her sigh of relief as the doors closed behind them was likewise lacking in subtlety.

And then there was silence.

"Uh. So, how have things been?"

Mercy quirked an amused eyebrow at Ensign Moore's antics. It reminded her of her brother Simon when he was trying not to let on he had broken another of their grandmother's vases. She did her best to bite back the amused grin, remaining placid and kind. "You know me, just trying to keep my head down and stay out of the way while still being useful. "I had to do the security certification with Officer Voznyuk, pretty sure I won't be winning any accolades or commendations anytime soon. How about you? You seem a little... uhm well frankly you seem skittish as hell? Everything alright?"

"Yes." The word flew out of Madi's mouth at such a rate, it immediately lost any credibility it might have had in its own slipstream. Despite the blotches of pink that appeared on her cheeks, the young scientist stared resolutely ahead for all of a few seconds before a slight flinch saw her gaze dart sideways. Mourne, by dint of her self-sufficiency, was a fairly benign figure and not entirely unsympathetic. Madelyn was often not the most clumsy person in the room when Mercy was around and that, if nothing else, earned the other woman a degree of gratitude. In this instance, it also earned her a grudgingly small amount of elaboration. "Just doing the whole avoid-everyone-until-they-forget-I'm-an-idiot thing." She offered Mercy a half-smile. "You know how it is."

Mercy's eyebrows kicked up another degree as she looked at Madi with incredulity. "Ah I see, just out of curiosity, how is avoiding the problem working out for you?" Mercy asked gently, her face sympathetic as her big sister instincts kicked in. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to. We can discuss the various merits of different compost bases if that's preferrable but if you did decide you wanted to talk to someone, you know I wouldn't tell anyone else." She gives a soft chuckle, laughing more at herself than at Madi. "If anyone can understand being so embarrassed and anxious you want to go hide in an open air lock, it's me."

The implied sympathy did help relax Madelyn's shoulders a little, though what really made it easy to discount the other scientist as a potential threat was the fact that Mourne didn't really seem like the type, as she'd pointed out, to share gossip around. More to the point, Madi had already reached a point where anticipating mortification was worse than just getting it over with; she could hardly spend the rest of forever using mirrors to look around corners.

"It's stupid really," she qualified, as they moved along the corridor towards the mess hall. "Have you tried," Madi deviated, glance up at the other woman, "any of Duncan's moonshine?"

Mercy's face went from sympathetic confusion to sudden understanding. "Ah I see. No, I don't drink. Nothing against others doing it, and I have always enjoyed the biochemistry of... actually never mind, sorry, talking about sugar consumption in yeast is beside the point. So you got drunk?" Mercy knew that was only the start of the story. When people got so drunk they avoided specific people the next day, it meant one of two things. They were either loving or fighting. "Did you do or say something you regret?" There was no blame in Mercy's voice, just warm understanding. "I'm sure no one would hold it against you Mads." The little nickname slipped out before Mercy could stop it, something about seeing the young Ensign all twisted up made Mercy just want to give her a hug and feed her chocolate biscuits. "You don't have to give me the details, but maybe, whoever you are avoiding, you should go and talk to them about it?"

It would have been of no surprise to anyone who knew Madelyn reasonably well that most of her reluctance to elaborate completely evaporated once she'd taken the first step towards confession. When she was comfortable, she could talk the hind leg off a donkey, her grandmother was wont to claim, and there was little difference between that and what happened when she was feeling overly nervous. It definitely helped that Mercy was astute enough to get the general gist without needing it spelled out, though now that she was being invited to narrow the scope of her embarrassment, Madi was forced to admit there was really only one person she was dreading having to debrief with. Anyone else just evoked a panicked speculation about what they'd heard and how far away from the actual truth it was.

"I cried." Now that it came down to it, there was nothing better for it than blunt honesty. "Like, ugly, messy cried. On Duncan." Because it would have to be one of the older members of her social circle, the one most likely to consider her clearly unprepared for the significance of her initial assignment.

Mercy blinked at Madelyn in surprise. "Huh, I thought you had got in a fight or... well it doesn't matter what else I thought." Mercy the took a deep breath seeming to consider Ensigns Moore's position carefully. "Honestly? I think we all reach our breaking point sometimes. My Grandmother, she always had some ancient wisdom ready for situations. Whenever we cried she would say something like 'Let your tears water the garden of your compassion', or something like that, the gist being tears are a sign we've reached some internal truth or injury. Everyone carries them round and sometimes tears can help us connect to each other. It doesn't lessen any embarrassment you might feel, and I don't know Ensign MacManus very well, but, he always struck me as the sensible, kind sort. I doubt he's holding it against you. "

As they reached the mess, Mercy ushered Madi over to a quiet table off to the side, tucked away where people would be less likely to overhear them. She then gestured for the young woman to sit. "I'll go grab food for you, what you wanting?"

"Anything, I guess." It was true that there'd been more of a selection since they'd left Realia, though time would tell if anything came of her attempt to preserve any of the copious amount of plums. Still, there wasn't likely to be enough variety to be particularly picky. "Whatever looks like it might deal with a bad case of the behaving like a idiot." The advice hadn't exactly fallen on deaf ears, it was just difficult to entirely remove herself from the initial problem, which was the compounding sense of being an imposter aboard a vessel that was having a once-in-a-lifetime exploration opportunity. It turned out sobriety hadn't left her feeling any more confident about the calibre of her onboard contributions.

Mercy nodded and then disappeared. She rushed as quickly as she could knowing sometimes, when one was anxious, waiting alone at a table in a communal space was the most helpful thing. She picked up a cup of tea for herself, a large glass of water for Madi, and whatever looked like it would best cure a hangover, something hearty and warm that was being referred to as todays 'special'. She then came back and slid the offering in front of Madi and took a seat opposite her, she sipped at her tea, then regarded Madi with another small smile. "So... what made you cry in the first place? I'm guessing if you are this tied up in knots it was just the drink?" She then gave her a teasing grin. "You need me to go beat someone up? I mean I doubt I could, it would likely be stern words more than anything, and even that is likely to be ineffective but I'd give it a go if it would make you feel a little better?"

The sentiment, or at least the visual, earned Mercy a faint half-smile. "No physical violence required, at least not this time." Picking up her fork, she made a show of moving food around her plate and then set the cutlery back down again to take a sip of water. Trying to package up the entire night into a simple explanation seemed almost impossible, especially given how much additional baggage she'd ended up hauling along for the ride. "It's mostly just the whole 'year lost in space' anniversary thing," she eventually started. "That was partially why we all got together in the first place and it started out fine. Kiyara kicked out butts at Catan like usual and I lost a bet that saw me drink far too much moonshine way too quickly. Duncan was just making sure I got to bed in one piece, he didn't really deserve Madelyn Moore's Self-Pity Party."

Picking up her fork again, Madelyn squinted across at the other woman.

"You ever wonder what you'd be doing now if none of this had happened?"

"You're too hard on yourself, I'm sure MacManus would say the same."

Mercy let out a small hum and for a moment she let's the weight of Madi's question settle on her, her cheerful demeanour wavered just a little before she could hide it behind another sip of tea. When she placed the mug back onto the table, she had managed to fix another smile on her face. "I honestly try not to think about it too much, it's why I like research, easy to sink into and pretend the world is just data."

She took a deep breath, then let it out in a slow draw. "I think... I'd probably be helping my siblings, maybe working in a lab somewhere? Vicki, the youngest, is graduating soon I think, as long as she kept her homework up. She would have been picking out which university to go to and what she wants to study. Before we left she was worried her grades weren't good enough. Part of me wondered is University was the right choice, that maybe she would want to do something practical instead, or travel? Mum won't like it but Vicki hates studying, she's clever, just not academically."

She looks down at her tea and for a moment her shoulders hunch up a little before she could force herself to relax. "So I would have probably been working extra shifts, trying to make sure she didn't need a big loan for whatever she decides to do. Maybe playing medium to whatever fight her and Mum were having about it. Being lost out here, it means I'm letting them all down. Because Mum has to try and keep everyone going by herself." Her voice was very soft and before she can continue she took a moment to clear her throat a little.

"What about you?"

There was something about hearing the situation from another perspective that pulled Madelyn away from her morose interpretation of her own current value. She paused, forkful of food partway to her mouth, and considered Mercy for a moment with gentle curiosity. They didn't know each other very well, Madi realised, and then felt a pang of guilt that she hadn't been a little more proactive in remedying that, having put most of her energy into getting Finn to sit down at a table with other people around it and dragging Kiyara out from underneath the consoles where they liked to hide. Mourne had always seemed self-contained and happily so but Madelyn wondered now why she'd ever thought anyone would want to be stuck all the way out here and left alone.

"Probably stuck in the cycle of regurgitating other people's studies and banging my head against the wall trying to broaden my practical experience." Xenobiology had been an odd choice for the quiet student, being such a dynamic and evolving field quickly flooding with highly ambitious hopefuls. "I was only meant to be on the Atlantis for a few months, and even then I have a sneaking suspicion my father might have had something to do with it." She cast her gaze back down into her stew. "And now look at me, growing alien beans."

“Growing alien beans well.” Mercy adds, not an ounce of flattery in her voice as she does so, it was clear to Mercy that was a simple fact. “However we got here, we’re here now. The important thing is what we do while we are here. At least you are doing something important. We won’t get back home if our food runs out, and we came far too close with all that radiation incident. The way I see is Mads, you have one of the most important jobs on the ship, and it’s not an easy one. There are plenty of variables that could lead to those crops failing, but thanks to your diligence it’s like a little oasis in the hydroponics bay.” Mercy’s smile turned sardonic and she chuckled, shaking her head before fiddling with her mug.

“Plus you’re what? In your early 20’s? When I was your age I was doing whatever I could to stay a little longer at university, dreaming of a day I would one day make the kind of discovery that would land me in a text book. Now we’re out here and the best I can do is hide away in research and avoid anything that might lead to anything exciting or remarkable. So I mean it, don’t be so hard on yourself, you are coping better than most. You could even say you’ve earned yourself a lapse in judgement and a bout of tears.”

As Mourne had offered her opinion, Madi had slowly reached a point where she'd stopped chewing entirely, so taken aback was she by what sounded like a very genuine appraisal from an unlikely source. Against her wishes, she could feel the heat of embarrassment start at her neck, having never quite figured out how to accept direct praise without feeling decidedly uncomfortable about it. In this case, it seemed to be an abundance of kindness from someone who she really hadn't spent enough time trying to get to know and, thus, feeling unworthy, she hesitated to know exactly what to say.

"It's mostly Finn's handiwork." In the face of great adversity, Madelyn capitulated to her standard deflection and quickly grabbed at someone else to absorb the accolades. "I mostly just try to get through the day without dumping huge vats of growth promoter on the floor, or tripping over mop buckets." Both sounded like actual recounts of recent events.

Mercy chuckled and took another sip of her tea. "Sure." She felt Madi's natural walls holding everything at bay, be it compliments or reflection and connection. She was young, it was only natural. Mercy wasn't about to push her any further out of her comfort zone so she just accepted Madi's words, even if she wasn't entirely convinced. "You finished?" Mercy gestured to Madi's tray, noticing she had stopped eating.

Glancing down at her tray, Madi was surprised to see she'd finished most of the stew. Mercy had been kind enough to get a smallish portion but it had still seemed more than what Madelyn had expected to be able to stomach. She nodded quickly, grabbing her tray and rising before the other woman could get any fancy ideas about coddling her further. "I should get back," she admitted, and then paused, hesitating over her next thought before finding the words to voice it. "You should come next time," she blurted out. "To games night, I mean. We need to keep recruiting until we find someone who can beat Kiyara at anything."

Mercy had been about to grab the tray, so she pouted slightly when her big sister smothering tendencies were thwarted, but it didn't last long. When Madi offered the invite to games night Mercy blinked up at her, refusal on the tip of her tongue. However there was something that stopped her. It had been nice, chatting with Madi and having a cup of tea. Maybe she needed a little less time alone. "I... I think I would like that, thank you. Can't promise I'd beat Kiyara, but I'll give it my best shot." She then gave Madi a grin and got to her feet, giving the Ensign a little nod. "I'll leave you to it. If you don't feel brave enough tomorrow to speak to MacManus, then give me a shout, I can be your human shield for lunch."

A genuine smile brought out the slight dimple in Moore's cheek, a physical feature that had never helped her step outside the realm of small-child-in-need-of-safety-harness, but it was evidence enough that the young scientist was leaving the conversation in better spirits than she'd entered it in. "I'll let you know when the next round is, we were thinking some time next week if this mission is done with by then."

She started away then and hesitated, tray in hand, before turning back. "And thanks, Mercy. I...yeah, just thanks. Come get me tomorrow and we can start tackling this database issue."

The beeline she made for the door was interrupted only by the clatter of spoon hitting the deck plating, and the ensuing hurried apology of an Ensign who didn't believe in giving herself too much reprieve before finding an entirely new reason to wish the ground would open up and swallow her whole.

 

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