Reconciling Two Truths

Posted on Fri Nov 13th, 2020 @ 6:13am by Ensign Elegy Nascimento & Ensign Michael Sloan

Mission: Mission 3 - 100
Location: Deck E - Mess Hall
Timeline: Day 61, Month 3, Year 0 21:05
2109 words - 4.2 OF Standard Post Measure

The computer seemed slower tonight. Either the computer was growing complacent or disinterested in what Elegy Nascimento had to ask of it, or Elegy was simply impatient down to his bones. His simulations about the viability of super-nutritious algae for the Vrav had proven to be slow, meticulous work. Each variable he changed could only be an incremental shift before running the next simulation, as the results had resulted in a wide margin of error. There was still so much they didn’t know about Vrav biology; too much was supposition. Because none of the simulations were going to have results for him presently, Elegy left them running in the science lab and he took the long walk to the mess hall.

Having collected a fresh tumbler of iced coffee and a bowl of protein-resequenced nuts, Elegy began to dart his way out of the mess hall. His eyes scanned the room for the easiest route out, and he nearly yelped when his gaze landed on Lieutenant Commander Michael Sloan. The Sloan who had been locked in the brig for days. Instantly, Elegy swallowed the sound. He didn't yelp for two reasons: one was that the Commander was seated in the mess hall, rather than storming the armoury or the engine room. What tactical advantage could he find in the mess hall of all places? The second reason was that Sloan was holding cutlery rather than a phaser. How dangerous could he be if he was allowed to handle a butter knife?

Elegy had been raised in a small community on Vega Colony. Where he'd grown up, it was impolite to see a neighbour at the market without offering a ten minute hello. When all of Elegy's instincts yelled at him to continue his way out of the mess hall, he could practically hear his mother's voice lecturing him about propriety.

Before he knew it, Elegy had invited himself into the chair opposite Sloan and was saying, "Hullo, Commander. It's good to see you--" The words came out without thinking and they hung in the air. Based on his inflection, the phrase was clearly a sentence fragment. One could imagine, he was teeing up to say: it's good to see you out of the brig; it's good to see you haven't been hanged for treason; it's good to see you aren't armed. Catching himself at the very last moment, Elegy only said, "It's good to see you," again, but this time with more feeling.

Not only had Sloan spent some time in the brig, but the general calamity of Atlantis' mission and Elegy's assignment to night shift had prevented them from crossing paths all that often. And even before that, when they'd both served on the Valiant, Elegy had kept to himself more often than not, while he'd tried to get his space legs. Finally, Elegy said, "It's been too long."

"It's good to see you as well," Michael returned. It had taken him a long moment to reply as his brain processed what was happening, For the most part, he was relatively ignored to his face though he could hear the whispers. "You , uh, don't need to call me Commander anymore, I no longer have a rank aboard the Atlantis," the man tried to clear up. "It's good to see a familiar face, especially one from a far away world a lifetime ago."

Something Michael said resonated in Elegy's chest. For a heartbeat, Elegy forgot where he was and what rumours he'd heard about Sloan. Elegy planted his palms on the tabletop and leaned in, when he said, "It truly feels like a lifetime ago," in solidarity with Michael's sentiment. "I can't decide," Elegy said, "if that means I'm getting older, or if it's a psychological defense mechanism to prevent me from screaming at the state of my life every hour on the hour."

"Could be all mental," Michael awkwardly joked. He was not trying to be funny, it's just the first thing that he thought of at the moment. Some moments, he felt like the man from South Africa who had always wanted to be join the MACOs. Other times, he felt like the Romulan who had been created to gather secrets and to cause chaos in the event of war. Mostly, he remembered everything and had no idea who he was. For some reason, a name came to his mind without context. But, before he could put it away, the history behind it hit him like a falling cargo container. "Paulo?" Michael stated unknowingly. Realizing that he had said the name of the man's spouse, the only thing Micahel could do was to say, "I'm so sorry we're stuck out here."

Even after Sloan had had his mind cracked open and scrambled by the Vrav, even after Sloan had been imprisoned and stripped of his rank... his first thought for Elegy had been about Paulo. The sincerity of the moment shook Elegy to his core, regardless of the whispers on the lower decks about Sloan being accused of spying for a foreign power. Elegy was surprised by the emotion that smacked him from the simple statement. Elegy had to look away and take a couple of deep breaths, for fear his eyes might redden or fill with tears.

"They told us to be ready for isolation at STC," Elegy said, swallowing down the sense of loss. Feeling more in control of itself, he considered Sloan, and he forced a wry remark: "This hasn't exactly sold me on it being a sustainable plan for people to live on starships full time."

“I know what you mean,” Sloan replied. Trying to divert the topic away from loved ones for the sake of the emotions Elegy had just displayed, Michael replied, “I don’t think becoming a skin suit for an alien mind experiment or two was in the brochure.”

Elegy's sapphire eyes widened in a supernova of expression that seemed to say: finally. Finally I can talk about this! Waving a hand through the air for emphasis, Elegy effused, "That-- that-- that is a terrifying prospect. I'm more afraid of that than I am of dying. Earth science still hardly understands everything the brain can do, let alone... change any of it... remotely."

Lowering his voice conspiratorially, Elegy leaned into the table, and he asked, "What did they even want with you?"

“Which ones?” Michael asked rhetorically. He took a look around the room to make sure no one else was obviously listening. “I think the Vrav thought all of you had tortured me and brainwashed me,” his voice sounded as though the thought of them doing that was an obvious joke. Motioning to indicate himself, he continued, “They must have sensed that I was a Manchurian Candidate before our equipment could.”

As the possibilities sunk in to Elegy's own brain, his mouth hung open and his chin recoiled into his neck. His sapphire eyes bore into Michael, slightly overwhelmed by the lack of humanity of what had been done to him, as well as the technological implications of that kind of brainwashing. Clearly horrified, Elegy softly asked, "Did we do that? Does Starfleet brainwash its senior officers before they leave the solar system?"

"You haven't heard then?" Michael asked, a little surprise slipping into his voice. Being locked in the Brig for as long as he was due to the scene that he made, he was sure scuttlebutt would have spread a few rumors around the ship. The crew was small and word usually travels faster than warp five.

Shaking his head slowly, Elegy remarked, "I work in the science labs on night shift. ...I keep introducing myself to Duncan as if we've never met before. I don't get out much." A bit less flippantly, Elegy added, "I've heard theories, but not from anyone who would know anything."

“It’s probably the Captain’s place to fill in the details,” Sloan started. He took a sip of his drink to buy a little time before he revealed something that would forever change how the person across the table viewed him, the one member of the crew who had know him longest. “Nothing was done to me in the planet, it was more that something in me was discovered. I... I am not Human. Not entirely,” the former Chief Armory Officer explained.

Elegy had been taking a sip of his iced coffee when Sloan said the words not human. Sputtering from surprise, a lackluster spit-take erupted from Elegy's lips. He didn't exactly spray coffee all over the table, but he inadvertently dribbled a bit of coffee back into his cup. Absently, Elegy snatched up a napkin and dabbed at the drops of coffee that had landed on the front of his flightsuit. He didn’t look down, though, because his full attention was on Sloan's face. Elegy's sapphire eyes narrowed, but the rest of his expression opened wide with fascination.

"But you're Human," Elegy said. The words weren't posed as a challenge; Elegy was practically begging Sloan to prove him wrong. Shaking his head, Elegy said, "I don’t see green skin, antennae, pointed ears or tusks on you...."

"I don't know," Michael replied softly. Looking down at the food, Sloan’s memories flew from one life to the other. He could not quite figure out which set seemed to be something that he really experienced and what was put in his head. Everything was just so fuzzy and ran together.

“ I… uh… I don’t remember the procedure,” Sloan admitted. “Either I’m a full Human with Romulan memories, or full Romulan with implanted Human memories.” Seeing one of the Atlatis’ Vulcans enter got Michael to nod toward Darru. “That’s what they look like, mostly,” Michael stated. “Romulans have a few subtle differences, most have more pronounced forehead ridges. All are a little more social, not bound up in logic.”

With every word Sloan said, Elegy's sapphire eyes opened wider in awe, and his jaw hung open slacker in delighted incredulity. Romulan, huh. Elegy broke eye contact long enough to look down at his snack. He took a breath and he cleared his throat. "My best friend I grew up with, he found out his father wasn't his father when he was in his thirties," Elegy said, and he looked up to meet Sloan's eyes. Elegy waggled a finger in Sloan's direction, as he said, "This is even more messed up than that was. How do you-- how do you even wrap your mind around that?"

Shaking his head slightly, Sloan replied, “I’ll let you know once I figure it out.” He jabbed his food a bit with his fork. Not because he was particularly hungry or because he was trying to distract himself. It was to try to see if he actually remembered what kind of taste was he expecting. Would the Romulans even know the taste of Earth food? If he took a bite, would his memory match his experience? It was all a bit much for him to take sometimes. “Was your friend able to reconcile the two truths? That his father was his dad but not his biological parent?” It seemed like a silly question, but Michael hoped the answer would be yes.

Facing that question, Elegy stared at Sloan; stared right at him. He didn't know how to answer that question; not immediately. Elegy gathered his memories of different conversations at different times with his friend, and he also thought about what Sloan was really asking. Elegy stared at Sloan, and when he couldn't stare anymore, he sipped at his coffee.

"He found comfort in the knowledge," Elegy answered slowly. He winced slightly at how foolish that might sound and he rolled his hands through the air to indicate a passage of time. "Eventually," he added with strong emphasis. By way of explanation, Elegy said, "My friend had always blamed himself for the petty fights with his father, and the unspoken tension. He assumed it meant he, himself, was intrinsically broken. Intrinsically wrong. The knowledge that all of these strong feelings had erupted from a genuinely complicated relationship dynamic... it came as a relief." Elegy could only imagine if this was anything close to what Sloan had wanted to hear, but it needed to be said. "It freed him to accept the relationship as it was, and forget the illusions of what he expected."

 

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