A Look Inside but I do not like what I see

Posted on Sat Jan 23rd, 2021 @ 11:02pm by Captain Bethsabée Leroux & Lieutenant Aurelius Davis

Mission: Mission 4 - Eden
Location: Deck E Captain Quarters
Timeline: Day 152 Year 1 23:00
1022 words - 2 OF Standard Post Measure

Aurelius stood outside Beth's office and rang the chime. He'd avoided this for a few days but he really felt like they needed to talk. The moment Samantha had shown up beside him Beth had gone all stiff and moved off. He was so confused. He had hinted that perhaps he would have been interested in a relationship with her and at the time she'd smiled sadly at him and pretty much shot him down. He ran his fingers through his hair as he looked down the corridor to make sure no one was going to see him enter.

Beth looked up from the PADD that she was looking through and sighed. She just wanted an hour to finish the letter home, she knew it would never be sent but she wanted some type of record of her thoughts. It was helping her organise her thoughts enough to allow her to function and lead the ship. "I'm coming..." She padded barefoot to the door and pressed the door release looking up at familiar eyes of Aurelius.

"Hi." Aurelius gave a half wave. "Sorry, I know you weren't expecting me. But I kinda wanted to talk about what happened earlier at the Christmas party."

Beth stepped back to allow the man into the office. “I was not expecting anyone at this time of night. I would have assumed everyone was asleep waiting for Father Christmas or whatever your... equivalent is.” She mused on the wording on the man in fed who went around Earth on 24 December.

"Well normally I would be . . . but I wanted to check on you and I just couldn't let it go despite what day and time it is. Can we talk for a minute?"

“I guess you should talk then.” Beth frowned but nodded sitting back at her desk undoing the uniform arms that were wrapped around her waist putting it back on properly. She had walked away to save embarrassment but obviously, it had been wrong.

"Uh okay. So . . . . everything okay between us? I mean, we're friends, right? You sort of disappeared just when I was going to say hi."

Beth stayed tying her boots for a long time before she looked up at the man and leaned back pursed lips. “I was giving you space.” She said simply not entirely sure what else she could say. Things had been awkward whenever they had been alone for the last two months since he had revealed about him and Sam. It was hard to explain but Beth was just taking a step back into her professional mindset.

"Why?" He asked. "I don't think a conversation here and there is stepping over any lines with Samantha. I guess I was under the impression that we could be friends."

Beth sighed and rubbed her forehead before shaking her head. “Because it is awkward Aurelius.” She shook her head again for someone who spoke ten languages she was at loss to explain it all to him. How could something like this happen to her? She never did this type of thing at all. She normally let it go over her head and just moved on without a thought/

"Why? It's not like we're former lovers. I sort of tried to start something with you and you basically said no. So I moved on. I just don't get it."

Beth looked at him unsure if he was really as clueless as he sounded. “I asked for time. We had been thrust across the galaxy. I had a mutiny on my hands in the form of Sloan trying to upset the chain of command then said man turn out to be not human but a spy, a race of beings following us after we mistakenly took their food. I just needed time to get my head together to the seventy people on board.” She told him trying to keep her voice low for fear if she raised it she might spout some venom that she would never be able to take back. And those thoughts when they were stuck forever were the only thing that was stopping the tears of anger and frustration.

"Sooooo . . . you're upset at me?" He didn't even want to ask the question of whether she had feelings for him. Why did women have to be so complicated?

The man was truly not seeing what had happened or how it had affected their friendship. "Yes, but what good will it do me?" She shrugged looking away again. It was getting hard to not let everything out.

"I'm sorry," he said with a shrug. "How can I fix it?"

Beth sighed at the shrug. He really not seeing it but it was done. “You cannot. There is a chasm between us now.” She said simply. It would take time for that to close, a lot more time than it took him to move on.

Her answer struck him as if she'd lifted a hand. He'd had no idea that Beth's feelings about him and Samantha ran this deep nor that he was hurting her by agreeing to be with someone else. He nodded, not sure what else he could say. But he felt as if he'd lost a friend, and perhaps he had. "I'll just go then."

Beth just nodded. What could she say to that? He did not argue, did not rage, did not deny anything so it was pretty simple to just let him go. She was not able to change anything but it certainly had changed her view on him enough that she felt raw about the whole thing. It was him that had moved on within days so it was okay to felt angry and she would eventually move on but for now she was fuming that she felt like she had been played with.

When she didn't stop him Aurelius kept walking. He was confused, hurt but he imagined that was nothing to what she was feeling. Eventually he thought everything would lead to numbness. He needed to be alone. Not an easy task on a ship like that but he was going to find a way.